Obviously, there is a lot going on athletically in Bulldog Nation these days, but that doesn't mean we should turn a blind eye to the blatantly hilarious and mildly ridiculous in other corners of the sporting universe.
One aspect of college athletics that is never a laughing matter is the facilities arms race. Let's face it, no one is going to come play for your lousy basketball team if you don't have heated marble floors in the lockerroom and enough Nintendo Wii's for everybody to chill after practice (it's a team building thing, no?).
No one understands this better than Texas A&M, where they've been spending and plan to spend alarming amounts of money on athletics, as well as a handy memory erasure tool to help the fanbase forget the name "Dennis Franchione". Anyway, that money comes in large part from the tireless efforts of A&M AD "Dollar" Bill Byrnes. No, that's really his nickname. As you might expect from a guy who truly relishes the nickname "Dollar Bill" and keeps a bottle of chilled Hpnotiq in his office at all times*, Byrnes expects to be taken seriously, yo. That's why he was none too happy when a Nike representative explained to him precisely why the University of Texas' deal with the athletic equipment maker was more lucrative than the Aggies':"You're not as good as they are and you're probably never going to be."
Byrnes proceeded to sign a new contract with Addidas after that. While not the best customer relations move, you have to give Nike credit for candor, don't you? I'll be back later with some recruitin'. Until then, throw some change Dollar Bill's way, and . . .
*To be fair, we don't know if this is true, but to paraphrase Texan Matthew McConaughey, it'd be a lot cooler if he did.