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Tuesday Night Dawg Bites: Tony Kornheiser Listens to the Internet Edition

It was a busy day in what is bound to be a wild week and the Diamond Dogs' showdown with the Atlanta Braves is still a day away, so it's high time I took a few moments and got you caught up on a few minutiae you might find of interest. Without further ado, here we go:

I don't want to single anybody out in this area, but, you know, some people sit at home and they watch TV and they watch radio and they "blog" about certain "things," and they think they know what they're talking about, and they think they have sources. They have no sources. They make stuff up. They're toads. They're little toads. Actually, they're pimples on the behind of the greater body politic in this country and in this city. And because, because they have access to airwaves and three or four people read them, they think, "Oh, I'm very important."

In fact, in fact, if a huge dumpster landed on their mother's house, and got all the way into the basement and crushed them, nobody would care. Nobody would miss them. They provide nothing good, no service that's any good at all. They, they are, they are, they are sucking mole rats, and that's the nicest I can be to them. But because, because they have a name, or, you know, because they get feedback from others, you know, they think they're very important.

O.K., seriously, are we back to this again?

Never mind the fact that a guy who spends as much time as Kornheiser does speaking on-air really ought to be able to express himself verbally without stammering like Hugh Grant in a romantic comedy so bad even he's embarrassed to be in it. Never mind the fact that Americans haven't "watch[ed] radio" since Edgar Bergen sat in a studio with a dummy on his knee and moved his lips while performing a ventriloquist act that the audience couldn't see. (Don't try thinking about that or you'll give yourself an aneurysm.)

Can the punditocracy please come up with some new material? Yeah, O.K., we get it; commentators who allowed their reporting skills to atrophy after they stopped being journalists and became talking heads (or columnists) are threatened by the rise of new media, despite the fact that the lines dividing the establishment from the insurgency increasingly are blurred, so they trot out tired stereotypes that bear little resemblance to reality. Can someone please have Trev Alberts explain this to Tony Kornheiser?

Oh, and Tony . . . before you start giving bloggers a hard time about how insignificant we are, why don't you ask Texas Rangers closer C.J. Wilson whether he thinks Lone Star Ball is an important weblog?

While you're at it, there, Kornheiser, answer me this: is it really true that we provide "no service that's any good at all"?

Go 'Dawgs!