First, the Big Ten got the cleverly-named Big Ten Network. Then (in open defiance of the reasonable question posed by the S.E.C.’s mother: "If the Big Ten jumped off of the Empire State Building . . . ?") the S.E.C. had to get its own network.
It’s called ESPN. The Southeastern Conference merely floated the possibility of setting up its own network and the Worldwide Leader fell all over itself in its rush to back up a dump truck full of bajillion-dollar bills. (Whose face appears on the bajillion-dollar bill, you may ask? Roy Kramer’s. If investment banks could manage their money as well as the S.E.C., there’d be talk about Wall Street bailing out Washington, D.C.)
It was a brilliant stratagem by Mike Slive, who never had any intention of going to the trouble of cranking up an S.E.C. network; he just needed to make the boys in Bristol worried that he would. It’s pretty much the same thing Ronald Reagan did to get the Russians back to the table by threatening to shoot down I.C.B.M.s with lasers in space. Of course, it wasn’t going to happen. Are you kidding me? Lasers in space? But, hey, the threat that he might got their attention.
In any event, the Big Ten got its own SB Nation weblog, The Rivalry, Esq. Naturally, this caused the network’s stable of S.E.C. bloggers to band together, vow that this affront would not stand unchallenged, and begin chanting, "S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C!"
The result? Why, the Southeastern Conference’s brand-new SB Nation weblog, of course.
What’s it called? What else? Welcome Team Speed Kills. If you click on that link, you may notice that the page loads a little faster than that plodding old Big Ten blog.
You’re sitting there at your computer chanting, "S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C!" right now, aren’t you? Yeah, me, too.
Also, as long as I’m updating you on the latest developments here at SB Nation, I probably ought to bring it to your attention that there’s a new way to look at FanPosts.