I'm not going to insult your intelligence by presuming to post anything of my own this evening.
Why is this? It's because two College Football Blogger Award-worthy entries already appeared in the blogosphere yesterday, upon which I am unable to improve today.
The first is to be found at SB Nation's Ohio State blog, Around The Oval. Regrettably, Sean was the victim of a burglary last Thursday evening and the perpetrators made off with his Xbox and a bottle of Jack Daniel's.
Man, that's hitting a guy where he lives.
Demonstrating the 21st-century durability of regional distinctions, Sean reacted quite differently from the way a Southerner would have responded, in two respects. First of all, Sean mourned the loss of his video games more deeply than the loss of his liquor, whereas anyone of Confederate ancestry would have judged the pilfering of his sour mash as the most heinous of the wrongs done him.
Secondly, we here in the South would have dealt with this affront by loading shotguns, basset hounds, flashlights, and kinfolk into pickup trucks and tearing off through the underbrush in search of the criminals, in what folks from other parts of the country would call "vigilantism" and what we Southerners refer to as "preventing the needless waste of scarce judicial resources in an already overburdened court system by eliminating the middleman."
Just kidding. Still, I have to think we wouldn't have written an elegy in haiku to our pilfered edition of N.C.A.A. football 2008, which Sean did. I mean, we might have written an epic poem entitled, "Ode to Jack Daniel," but haiku? That is a poetic form I reserve for expressing my hatred of Auburn.
Speaking of Auburn, Sunday's other noteworthy post came from The Joe Cribbs Car Wash's Jerry Hinnen, who is running neck-and-neck with Jay Coulter of Track 'Em Tigers for the role of My Favorite Auburn Fan. (After Jay and Jerry, every other Auburn fan in the world is tied for dead last.)
I hate Auburn.
Stop what you're doing right now. Go read Jerry's "Arrested Development" piece.
What's that? You're not an "Arrested Development" fan? Fine.
Stop what you're doing right now. Go buy the D.V.D. box sets of the three seasons of "Arrested Development." Watch them all in order. Then go read Jerry's "Arrested Development" piece.
Look for these. (With any luck, my posting of this picture will cause Amazon.com to start posting D.V.D.s on my ad strip instead of women's Georgia Bulldog thong underwear.)
When the 2007 College Football Blogger Awards roll around, I will nominate each of these pieces for posting of the year. All kidding aside, both of these are really top-notch work, confirming the accuracy of what The Blog-ifesto had to say about the originality, hilarity, and depth of sports webloggers at their best.
Go read what Jerry and Sean wrote. I'll be back tomorrow to try and live up to the standards they have set. Nice job, guys.