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Misdemeanor Fever: Catch It!

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We are inside of a month until the kickoff of college football 2007, and I can't wait. If nothing else, the grind of the season keeps our players from engaging in miscellaneous traffic related misdemeanoring. Orson has noted that this summer's fit of road related ridiculousness has pushed the Dawgs into the top ten of the Fulmer Cup. Doug pointed out in the comments that Georgia is the most successful practitioner of the west coast offense as applied to off-field mayhem. I think it's an apt analogy, and it doesn't really bother me. If our players are going to end up in the pokey, I'd rather it be for dink and dunk traffic violations than, say, smuggling marijuana, burglary or stirring games of "duck, duck, assault rifle".

But now comes word that Georgia's particular style of low intensity criminality is catching on in other parts of the country. Exhibit A: Indiana quarterback turned tight end Blake Powers, who got pinched Monday night for throwing water balloons. From the Worldwide Purveyor of Who's Now:

According to a police report, Powers admitted that while a car in which he was riding was stopped at a traffic signal, he had tossed a water balloon through the open window of another car, striking the driver in the head. The driver, Paul Wampler, was an Indiana University police officer who had just gotten off work and was heading home. Wampler was in uniform in his personal vehicle. Wampler then followed the other vehicle, which had four occupants, to a residence where Powers admitted throwing the water balloon, the report said. The occupants said they had not realized the person in the other car was a police officer. All four car occupants tested negative for alcohol use, said IU police Capt. Jerry Minger.

Irony, thy name is Wampler. But battery? For getting hit with a water balloon? Either Wampler is a world class sissy boy, or Powers never should have been moved from the QB spot. I understand that we're talking about a college football player winging liquid-filled projectiles, and that theoretically that could be dangerous. But it's the former starter at Indiana. Not Matt "Howitzer" Stafford. Not Tim "Baby Rhino" Tebow. How dangerous could the guy be? And who was the Michigan corner who blew the coverage on this one? That guy should be booked for aiding and abetting.

Seriously, does this kid look like a threat to anyone other than himself? Have some compassion, Bloomington 5-0.

The Indiana Daily Student also reports that "Police found two buckets of water-filled balloons in the back seat of the Jeep and a bag with about 50 water balloons in the front seat of the car." All of which indicates to me that there is really nothing to do in Bloomington when school's out. Absoflippinglutely nothing. The best part has to be that the student paper reported that Wampler was actually wearing his Smokey uniform at the time, meaning that Powers must have the worst coverage reading skills ever. As the late, great Terry Hoeppner probably told Powers more than once, do not throw to the guys in the navy blue uniforms!

Congratulations Blake. You're an honorary Bulldog in my book.