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Hip Check

Last weekend, for what I believe was the first time in my life, I was described as "hip."

This compliment, though much appreciated, was curious, considering that it was paid to me after my admission that I let my son listen to a song recorded by a band that met a tragic end in a plane crash 30 years ago.

Still, since the subject has been raised, here is your opportunity to demonstrate the extent to which you are up to date on the lingo by taking the following matching quiz:

  1. Interactive gaming system
  2. Female golfing phenom
  3. Women's television network
  4. Ersatz-European men's magazine

a. Oui
b. We
c. Wie
d. Wii

If you only answered No. 4 correctly, you ceased to be hip approximately in the early 1980s. If you answered Nos. 3 and 4 correctly, you ceased to be hip approximately in the mid-1990s. If you answered Nos. 2, 3, and 4 correctly, you ceased to be hip approximately at the turn of the millennium. Finally, if you answered all four correctly, you are so hip as to be unintelligible to the rest of us, even when you're speaking sentences rather than text-messaging.

You may safely count me among the ranks of the unhip. I completely don't get the whole Wii thing. If you want to sit there and play Xbox or PlayStation, fine . . . but if a gaming system appeals to you because you can hold a gamepiece in your hand, go through the physical motion of rolling a bowling ball, and thereby simulate bowling, you need to get up off the couch and go bowling.

I also don't get the whole TiVo thing. I have a modicum of self-discipline, a smidgen of patience, healthy doses of punctuality and forethought, and a V.C.R. with a timer. Why would I possibly need a TiVo?

Finally, someone needs to explain text-messaging to me. You have a cell phone. You want to carry on a conversation with someone in real time. Call them!

Now that I am veering dangerously close to Andy Rooney territory, please permit me to conclude with the Unhip Thought for the Day, which is a quotation from my old friend and former "Dawg Show" co-host, Travis Rice: "I have no interest in owning a cell phone that takes pictures, but I might be interested in owning a camera that I can use to call people."

Go 'Dawgs!