I know, I'm supposed to respect June Jones and the program he's built at Hawaii. And I do. Admittedly, the WAC is the WAC. But going 12-0 is not easy, even in a conference that requires you to best such leviathans of college football as Louisiana Tech and Nevada. Jones has become a mentor to wildly successful quarterbacks, and a sort of zen master for football coaches who'd rather not bother to teach run blocking. But I remember June Jones from a time even June doesn't want to remember. I remember June Jones, Atlanta Falcons Head Coach.
If June's Falcons had been a haircut, they would have been a feathered mullet. If they were a car, it would have been a Yugo. If June Jones' Falcons had been a Kevin Costner movie, they would have been Waterworld II. I reiterate: it is incredibly difficult for me to take June Jones' Hawaii Warriors seriously when I remember how much the Atlanta Falcons truly reeked from 1994-1996. I find it unfathomable that the man who directed the pre-Dirty Bird "Foulcons" could possibly be that much of a raging football supergenius.
So I'm hoping that on Tuesday night June Jones parties like it's 1996. I'm looking for a June Swoon:
It's made with 4 ounces of orange juice, 4 ounces of pineapple juice, 2 1/2 ounces of light rum, and a splash of curacao. Mix all of the above over ice and you've got it.
Honestly, how can you make a Hawaii-themed drink without pineapple juice? Plus it's lightweight and fruity, just like June's offense. Make no mistake, the Warriors will put up some points on the 'Dawgs. When you throw the ball 50 times a game, 2-7 big plays is all but a given. The outcome of this game may well hinge on whether we allow 2 or 7. But this is still a June Jones coached football team we're talking about here. It's not like the guy hasn't turned in a disappointing performance in the Superdome before. I'll be back on Monday with 5 Things You'll See During the Hawaii Game. Until then, stock the bar, enjoy some bowl games and stay safe.