What, you may ask, is the national game of disinterest? Simply stated, it is the game most noteworthy for the utter indifference it invokes in me. I pride myself on my ability to find a rooting interest, no matter how attenuated, convoluted, ephemeral, or trivial, in almost any game, but, sometimes, I find a contest in which I am unable to take sides due to my absolute apathy regarding the outcome and, indeed, the very fact of the game itself.
This is the national game of disinterest and, each week, I will identify it . . . but not pick it, because I can't bring myself to care enough to make a choice.
This is more likely to hold my attention than the national game of disinterest is. (Image from University of Minnesota Bookstores. That's a bit of foreshadowing, by the way.)
This week's national game of disinterest is . . .
Minnesota at Kent State (Thursday, August 31)
The Golden Gophers are going on the road to face the Golden Flashes? First of all, what is Minnesota doing traveling to Kent State?
I can understand a Big Ten team playing an away game at a good M.A.C. team, but K.S.U. hasn't been to a bowl game since 1972 and, in the last 27 years, the Flashes have posted four three-win seasons (3-8 in 1980, 1985, and 1997, and 3-9 in 2002), five two-win seasons (2-9 in 1990, 1992, 1994, 1996, and 1999), six one-win seasons (1-10 in 1979, 1983, 1991, 2000, and 2005, and 1-9-1 in 1995), and four winless campaigns (0-11 in 1982, 1989, 1993, and 1998). Even Minnesota shouldn't be playing these guys, much less on the road.
Entirely different grade of Kent.
This raises an additional question . . . what about this game warranted scheduling it on a Thursday night? Who would turn out on a school night to watch this sissy-boy slap party unfold? There's no chance the game will be competitive, so why give it pride of place on the schedule?
I can't get worked up enough about this one to offer a formal prediction, although it wouldn't surprise me if the box score showed the Golden Gophers had left this in their wake: 45 points, 350 rushing yards, four dead.
That's your national game of disinterest; I'm not picking it because I couldn't care less. If you can come up with a reason why this game ought to matter to me, or if you can name an even less intriguing game being played this weekend, please feel free to enlighten me by leaving a comment.