Tuesday is underway already, so there's no time to lose. Grab hold of something and hang on for the ride, 'cause here's what you need to know:
- In honor of the impending arrival of college football season, I have begun recounting the history of bowl games. The first two installments of this series have been posted here at Dawg Sports. Also, as noted by Nico, my interview of the Crimson Tide weblogger at Roll Bama Roll will be up on the net ere the weekend arrives, possibly as early as tomorrow.
- I don't know that the news quite warrants sending S.E.C. Commissioner Mike Slive to Charleston for the purpose of firing on Fort Sumter, but it is disconcerting, nevertheless: Jefferson Pilot Sports is now Lincoln Financial Sports. The Southeastern Conference, whose member institutions include the state universities of eight former Confederate States and the private institution that was home to the Fugitive-Agrarians, at least ought to regard disdainfully the symbolic slight of having the Sage of Monticello supplanted by the Railsplitter in the nomenclature of the media company charged with airing Southern football games.
Had they only known about the Jefferson Pilot/Lincoln Financial merger, I'm sure there'd have been an essay about it in I'll Take My Stand.
- In a somewhat related item, the Big Ten is getting its own channel . . . that's right, its own channel. Not to be outdone, the S.E.C. has expressed an interest in creating a conference channel of its own. Actually, we already have a place where we can view S.E.C. sporting events around the clock . . . it's called Heaven.
- When a member of what my brother-in-law, Craig, has christened "The Dawgosphere" makes a "Smokey and the Bandit" reference, he gets a link, 'cause those are the rules. Vaya con Dios, A.C.
What we're dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
- I indicated earlier that I hoped Oregon State would win the College World Series. Well, the Beavers did just that. My congratulations go out to Jake at Building the Dam.
- With autumn just around the corner, the always important issue of consulting the college football schedule before setting your wedding date has arisen anew. You already know where I stand on this one.
Mazel tov! (Just as long as you pick a date between New Year's Day and Labor Day.)
- Offensive Chic has reared its head with respect to the Orange Bowl played on New Year's Day 1988, to which I made specific reference when arguing that offense sells tickets yet defense wins championships. Consider the following statement regarding the 1987 Sooners' offense: "Although Miami's defense was able to thoroughly dominate the Oklahoma offense, it is not a knock on what Oklahoma could do." Try saying that out loud four or five times and watch it collapse under the weight of its own nonsensicality. (When you're repeating it out loud for the purpose of seeing it disintegrate from sheer absurdity, you may feel free to correct the split infinitive while you're at it.) For whatever it's worth, the Sooners' wishbone, which managed to put up 41 or more points 15 times in 29 games between 1985 and 1987, eked out 24 or fewer points in three of O.U.'s last five regular season games in the 1987 campaign and passed the 30-point plateau only once in that span, indicating that the offense was running out of steam. It is not surprising, therefore, that Oklahoma was exposed by Miami in the Orange Bowl, in a game the Sooners reached because of their defense . . . which held all 11 regular season opponents to 14 or fewer points and kept six of them in the single digits. When Barry Switzer's transgressions became too great for the institution to bear any longer, O.U. administrators, perhaps cognizant of the real reason for the Sooners' success, elevated the team's defensive coordinator, Gary Gibbs, to succeed Coach Switzer at the helm and guide the program through the lean probation-shackled years, which Coach Gibbs was able to navigate without ever once having a losing record, either overall or in Big Eight play. If you're searching for the secret to success on the gridiron, put your fingers on the home row keys and you'll find it directly beneath your left middle finger: D.
- Bruins Nation has produced a multi-count indictment of Southern California's football program. While I don't have a 'Dawg in that fight, the evidence he compiles is pretty damning.
In U.S.C.'s defense, though, they do have the Song Girls, so cut 'em a little slack. (Photograph courtesy Sports Illustrated.)
- Orson Swindle has spelled out the rules regarding taunting. Although he is too polite to say so, most of his examples were drawn from real-life interactions with Auburn fans. I hate Auburn.
- The Georgia Sports Blog has reported that the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party has been scheduled for 3:30 p.m. on October 28 and documented the fact that Oregon's atrocious "Tron"-like uniforms were a heinous atrocity committed after cold calculation rather than a crime of passion.
Stop them before they innovate again. (Photograph courtesy University of Oregon Athletic Association.)
You may now consider yourself completely up to date and ready to face the day ahead.