clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

When Good Uniforms Go Bad

My recent posting on the best and worst uniforms in college football has generated some discussion, so, with thanks to Doug for proving that great minds think alike and at the risk of being accused of being the Mr. Blackwell of the blogosphere, I wanted to add a few other deserving squads to the worst-dressed list.  

Earlier, I became so focused on the atrociousness of Oregon's uniforms that I forgot about the Ducks' archrival, the Oregon State Beavers, who (with apologies to Every Day Should Be Saturday) seem to live by the motto, "Every Saturday should be Halloween."  Black and orange just make for a bad look, particularly for a program that is struggling to be taken seriously on a national scale.  

In any other state, they wouldn't be the second-ugliest.

Also, while we're on the subject of Halloween-themed teams abbreviated "O.S.U.," Oklahoma State's "all-pumpkin" look qualifies them for the bottom of the barrel, as well.  The Cowboys are clad like Clemson, only without the tradition . . . which is a bit like letting fungus grow on your shower shoes before you've won 20 games in The Show.  

There is a general category of teams that deserve inclusion on any list of college football fashion disasters purely by virtue of their indiscriminate use of excessive amounts of maroon.  I'm talking about Arizona State, Minnesota, Mississippi State, Texas A&M, and Virginia Tech.  The best that can be said on behalf of maroon is that it isn't teal, which was the default color choice of professional expansion franchises in the 1990s.  

Maroon . . . unsafe at any speed.

San Diego State is in a class by itself.  Pick a uniform, any uniform, and you'll be astonished at how bad it looks.  From Marshall Faulk's college career to the present day, the Aztecs have taken the field looking just plain awful.  It's one thing to put your school's name across the front of your jersey when you're, say, Texas.  Trying to fit "San Diego State" across the chest is just overkill.  

Ugly is ugly in any era.

Last but by no means least is Wyoming.  That's "Wyoming," as in "Why, oh, why did Wyoming choose that for its primary uniform color?"  What can brown do for you?  Only two things in the world are that particular shade of brown.  Considering the inevitable association, you wouldn't want your football team's uniforms to be the other one.  

This is a family-friendly weblog, so we'll describe that color as either "feculent" or "stercoraceous."

Those are the latest additions to my list of college football teams whose equipment managers shouldn't let them leave the locker room dressed like that.  Are there any other teams you would like to add for the good of the order?  

Go 'Dawgs!