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Oh, You Were Finished? Well, Allow Me to Retort!

There is a venerable adage, both in litigation and in history, that, when you have one witness, you know the facts, but, when you have two or more witnesses, you're never sure.  So it is with Bloggerpalooza '06.  

My take on the day's events was offered at Dawg Sports yesterday.  Doug's conflicting version appeared at Hey Jenny Slater earlier this afternoon.  

I will not dignify Doug's "creative" account with a response, except to say that (a) whatever he tells you about whether the birds were singing is an absolute fabrication, (b) that Kirk Herbstreit character had some nerve talking trash about the Red and Black after what Georgia's defense did to the pretty-boy Q.B. in the 1993 Citrus Bowl, and (c) Doug left out the part where Jim Tressel showed up to compliment him on looking so snappy in his red sweater vest.  (Wait 'til Doug posts the pictures and you'll see what I mean.)  

In all seriousness, Doug, Ann, Trav, and I had a good time, despite the small turnout brought about by the perfect storm of Orson's sister's wedding, Paul's bad case of bed head, and The Drizzle's aversion to rain (which, come to think of it, may explain why he's called "The Drizzle" and not "The Torrential Downpour").  

Next time, we'll know to follow these simple rules of planning a tailgate:  

  • Remember the old Japanese saying:  "When planning a tailgate, plan a tailgate."  
  • Exchange cell phone numbers in advance so that communication will be possible between the time you leave the house and the time you meet at the Arch.  
  • In case the first and second rules are not followed properly, have some idea of the other guys' real names and their physical appearance so that you don't run the risk of walking right by one another without knowing who the other fellow is.  
  • As in all other instances, inform your relatives that they should plan their weddings so as to avoid conflicts with Georgia football games.  (In Orson's sister's defense, though, a bride with a sibling who is a Florida fan probably is justified in not checking to see when the Georgia spring scrimmage is scheduled before setting a date for her big day.)  
In other words, next time, we'll act as if we're people whose interaction isn't solely confined to the internet but who are, instead, real human beings who behave like folks who know one another.  

It's a stretch, I know, but I'm confident we'll get there eventually . . . if only so some group of clever rivals doesn't get the opportunity to raise $12,000.00 and put up a billboard near the North Campus Parking Deck that reads, "Shouldn't Bloggerpaloozas be Attended by More Than Four?"  

Go 'Dawgs!