Super Tuesday Dawg Bites

While our good friend Doug Gillett from Hey Jenny Slater is busy watching the election returns and hoping we are a part of Obama Nation, we here at Dawg Sports are following matters more important than merely determining the fate of the free world; for the uninformed or inattentive, these are they:

In case you hadn't heard, tomorrow is National Signing Day! As already noted by resident recruiting guru MaconDawg (who follows the subject in a totally non-creepy way), tomorrow is shaping up to be an uneventful day for the 'Dawgs . . . and that's a good thing. Hey, you'll still want to tune in to make sure the Red and Black signed 'em all, though.

First, there was Joel, who handed it off to Orson. Brian followed, offering not only an additional set of nominations but also sparking the latest round of Big Ten/S.E.C. feuding by noting Southern bloggers' sub-par html table-making skills. Man, that's hitting a guy where he lives!

After I made my presentation, Peter rolled out his group of nominees and Joel brought it home because the whole world works in circles and everything tries to be round. (As for the allegation that "the topic of Stewart Mandel incited some passions," I haven't the foggiest idea to whom Orson was referring.)

MaconDawg and I are honored to have been nominated for Best Writing and for Best S.E.C. Blog for the second year in a row. We have agreed that, if we win, we will ask the orchestra at the awards ceremony to play us off to the tune of Warren Zevon's "Lawyers, Guns, and Money" if our acceptance speech runs long, as it inevitably will.

Also nominated for Best Writing is the aforementioned Doug Gillett, who is a communist socialist man-hating feminista Democrat. If you're considering voting for Doug instead of Dawg Sports, MaconDawg and I have just one question for you: "Why do you hate America?"

In addition, we have concrete evidence that Doug is harboring weapons of mass blogstruction. Hide your toaster oven.

Among the nominees for Best S.E.C. Blog is Roll Bama Roll, where Todd reacted to receiving the nod with polite deference but where there are more important matters to which to attend, as they are looking for a new pin-up gal.

Frankly, the logic of some of the voting escapes me. Roll Bama Roll's readers chose Katharine McPhee over Lauren Graham, Brittany Snow over Amy Adams, and Rachel McAdams over Jessica Biel, all of which I believe were such flagrantly bad calls that I'd throw the red challenge flag if they allowed that sort of thing. Apparently, the latter (otherwise inexplicable) upset resulted from voting irregularities, the likes of which have not been seen in the blogosphere since the Ladies . . . hosted the Hot Blogger Bracket, but how did Amy Adams not advance? Is it even conceivable that the majority of the readers of any S.E.C. football weblog haven't seen "Talladega Nights"?

Recruiting, the College Football Blogger Awards, and the official Roll Bama Roll pin-up girl . . . those, my fellow Americans, are the decisions that matter most this Super Tuesday. Be sure to endure the pain of suffrage by exercising the franchise and casting your ballot in the finest tradition of Peach State political skullduggery, which enshrined the principle of "one man, one vote . . . or, what the heck, one man, three or four votes, using the names of the recently deceased . . . in alphabetical order . . . all using the same pen!"

Go 'Dawgs!