It's Monday morning and I've been away on vacation for the last week, so I don't even want to think about what my desk is going to look like when I get to the office this morning. Just in case you're as pressed for time as I am, let me give you the short version on what you may have missed in about the time it'll take you to knock back that crucial initial morning cup of coffee:

• Auburn may be up to no good. Yeah, I know, that's a real shocker, isn't it? I know I'm biased, being as how I hate Auburn and all, but, if you ask me, I think Auburn deserves the death penalty if these allegations turn out to be true and Auburn fans' Jan Kemp comparisons are well wide of the mark.
• Conquest Chronicles is on-line and Paragon SC has hit the ground running, praising offensive innovations and drawing respectful disagreement here at Dawg Sports.

"Offense? We don't need no stinking offense!"

• Yesterday marked the first anniversary of my first foray into the blogosphere and I commemorated the occasion by proposing a crazy novel idea . . . a Chick-fil-A sandwich with bacon!
• While I was out of town, so as not to leave my loyal readers completely in the lurch, I dug deep in the Kyle on Football archives and republished postings from last summer on the N.C.A.A.'s Indian mascot ban, how to prepare for college football season, and the rumor that Steve Spurrier may have fathered an illegitimate child by a chicken.

Just kidding, Steve. All in good fun, buddy. No hard feelings, right?

• It isn't all fun and games in the blogosphere, though, as the fine fellows at The M Zone have taken a break from offering first-rate jocularity long enough to make some serious points about net neutrality.
• Our good friends at Bruins Nation consistently earn the blogosphere's respect by telling it like it is, even when the truth hurts. Sunday was no exception, as the S.E.C. was taken to task for its wicked, wicked ways (after the fashion of Maize n Brew Dave) and a related poll question was proposed. I would encourage you to head over to Bruins Nation and cast your ballot for (or is it against?) Auburn.

You think we know how to cheat at football? Shoot, you ain't seen nothing 'til you've seen us steal an election!

That's not all there is, by any means, but it's all there's time for right now. Stay tuned . . . but, for the time being, let's get to work.

Go 'Dawgs!