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When Good Uniforms Go Bad

My recent posting on the best and worst uniforms in college football has generated some discussion, so, with thanks to Doug for proving that great minds think alike and at the risk of being accused of being the Mr. Blackwell of the blogosphere, I wanted to add a few other deserving squads to the worst-dressed list.  

Earlier, I became so focused on the atrociousness of Oregon's uniforms that I forgot about the Ducks' archrival, the Oregon State Beavers, who (with apologies to Every Day Should Be Saturday) seem to live by the motto, "Every Saturday should be Halloween."  Black and orange just make for a bad look, particularly for a program that is struggling to be taken seriously on a national scale.  

In any other state, they wouldn't be the second-ugliest.

Also, while we're on the subject of Halloween-themed teams abbreviated "O.S.U.," Oklahoma State's "all-pumpkin" look qualifies them for the bottom of the barrel, as well.  The Cowboys are clad like Clemson, only without the tradition . . . which is a bit like letting fungus grow on your shower shoes before you've won 20 games in The Show.  

There is a general category of teams that deserve inclusion on any list of college football fashion disasters purely by virtue of their indiscriminate use of excessive amounts of maroon.  I'm talking about Arizona State, Minnesota, Mississippi State, Texas A&M, and Virginia Tech.  The best that can be said on behalf of maroon is that it isn't teal, which was the default color choice of professional expansion franchises in the 1990s.  

Maroon . . . unsafe at any speed.

San Diego State is in a class by itself.  Pick a uniform, any uniform, and you'll be astonished at how bad it looks.  From Marshall Faulk's college career to the present day, the Aztecs have taken the field looking just plain awful.  It's one thing to put your school's name across the front of your jersey when you're, say, Texas.  Trying to fit "San Diego State" across the chest is just overkill.  

Ugly is ugly in any era.

Last but by no means least is Wyoming.  That's "Wyoming," as in "Why, oh, why did Wyoming choose that for its primary uniform color?"  What can brown do for you?  Only two things in the world are that particular shade of brown.  Considering the inevitable association, you wouldn't want your football team's uniforms to be the other one.  

This is a family-friendly weblog, so we'll describe that color as either "feculent" or "stercoraceous."

Those are the latest additions to my list of college football teams whose equipment managers shouldn't let them leave the locker room dressed like that.  Are there any other teams you would like to add for the good of the order?  

Go 'Dawgs!

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Fair enough . . .
. . . but I still find Wyoming's shade of brown a bit troubling.  

Brown itself isn't necessarily bad---I have brown eyes and brown hair, and so does my wife, and I don't consider that to be a bad thing---but I can't watch a Wyoming home game without thinking of Mr. Hanky from "South Park."  

Maybe that's just me, though.  

by T Kyle King on May 10, 2006 10:41 PM EDT reply actions  

hmmm
i have to admit a couple things up front...i am a florida grad, and i love the gators, although unlike most gators i dont have that hatred of georgia. i actually had cause to visit athens a few times and loved the town, so i find myself rooting for the dawgs 364 days a year, other than halloween weekend...

BUT the orange stripe sleeves we had for that ne game...well, it was one game too many. those were horrible. thank heaven we werent along, so va tech (and miami? right?) also had that monstrosity.

one thing i dont agree on...tghe whole "traditional look is sacred and therefore great as a uniform" thing. penn st, alabama, texas, tenn? all whie n the road i absolutely despie. i think it subconciously signals 'surrender', like a white flag. and i think its just boring...esp penn st. good lord. i think those unis would look really good w/navy pants on the road. that would be a sharp look.

cant agree that anything from f$u is good. i think the gold pants look esp bad. they do look decent w/the maroon pants, but still, when you represent pure evil and everything bad about college sports and the most crooked program in history, that tends to taint the uniform for me (i did mention i was a florida grad, right?)

but oregon? oh my goodness. at LEAST get rid of that stupid steel grid pattern. thats the thing that just sends them over the edge for me. i mean, i could at least handle SOME of the combos   w/o that stupid pattern. the next thing they need to get rid of is that yellow. it looks like mustard.  if you go w/green as your main color, w/yellow as an accent, then you can make something prersentable, at least.  i dont like the preponderence of black, and the way ot gets added to any uniform...its one thing when it ws part of the original colors, but to just throw it in, like oregon did..,.

and honestly, i thought they had a really cool looking uniform style prior to the nike invasion. green and yellow, nice classic look...then..damn...

btw, did you notice the f$u all green uniforms against bc? seriously, they cant even do a black out correctly. unconquered on the pants? it SHOULD say 'tainted'.

and did anyone see the alabama houndstooth jerseys? i thought those looked great. too bad they are so rooted in the past that they refuse to let those uniforms change even a little. seriously, the houndstooth trim was a nice tribute to coach bryant. if that gets them up in arms, i dont know...its a good thing bear didnt coach 30-40 years earlier, or they would still be wearing leather helmets w/o facemasks

by obliv326 on Nov 7, 2006 3:59 AM EST reply actions  

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