Anybody remember the scene in The Big Kahuna where Larry and Phil ask Bob to serve as bartender in the hospitality suite they rented at a convention? Bob, a researcher and a teetotaler protests, "what if someone wants something I don't know how to make? What are the forumulas?" Phil and Larry laugh and Phil says, "they're called recipes Bob, and don't worry, we'll get you a book."

Remember? Crickets from internet....well trust me it happened....

Yesterday morning my wife, while trying to do something in a spreadsheet, "what's the recipe in excel for adding up a column of numbers?" To which I responded outloud, "equals, sum, open parenthesis, highlight stuff you want to add up, close parenthesis, enter." We have this conversation fairly often. In my head I think "they're called formulas hon, and don't worry, we'll get you a book."

My wife, Bob, and now our friend Michael Carvell at the AJC have all done the same thing. They've touched on a point that isn't totally wrong, but demonstrated that they don't understand that of which they speak beyond a very basic level. In the case of Bob and my wife, that's no problem at all, they aren't bartenders or accountants, and what's more they have convenient access to those who are. Michael Carvell on the other hand.....

So with Apologies to Fire Joe Morgan, let's take a look at some of (not all, I got audits to review) our favorite recruiting correspondent's calculation of how Georgia did on signing day....

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Earlier today, my eight-year-old son and I were teammates in a game of Wii Madden, in which our Green Bay Packers defeated the opposing New York Giants, 100-3. We led, 434-45, in total offense, gaining 192 rushing yards (mostly on toss sweeps) and 292 passing yards while holding the opposition to 51 passing yards and minus-six rushing yards.

The Pack gained 13 first downs to the G-Men’s one and amassed 235 punt return yards to New York’s none. (We didn’t punt.) The Giants turned the ball over four times (including throwing one pick-six) and failed to move the chains on any of their 13 third down attempts. Green Bay converted one of three third downs, two of two fourth downs, and nine of eleven two-point attempts.

With the Packers leading, 97-3, in the final minute, I directed my son to take his time outs, in order to set up a short field goal with eight seconds left. I can just about guarantee you that the Super Bowl won’t be anywhere near as much fun.

Go ‘Dawgs!

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T. Kyle King will be on ESPN Radio St. Augustine with John Frary at 5:37 p.m. to discuss Georgia sports, no doubt including recrootin'. Tune in if you're in the area, 1420 AM, or try http://www.1420sports.com/ on your Internet dial.

National Signing Day is less than a week away; the offseason is about to get real, y'all. I don't know about you, but the only way I can deal with the crippling depression that accompanies the knowledge that football is seven months away is to keep myself busy. And why not stay busy by getting ready for football's triumphant return?

Like many of you, I don't make it back to Athens for games as often as I would like. Accordingly, I wind up watching a lot of games at home, and I try to recreate the tailgate atmosphere by having friends over. But contrary to what beer commercials have been trying to tell us for years, having a successful tailgate involves a little more effort than showing up in a jersey with a six pack. A professional-grade tailgate involves a full bar, among other things, and, if you've ever had the misfortune of attending a bad party, you know that stocking a bar is a little more complicated than it seems. But never fear: I'm from the internet, and I'm here to help. You can stock a full bar for about $100, and since you can pick up pieces here and there over a couple of weeks, it makes for a perfect offseason project.

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Just a general open thread for Sunday Funday talk. Topics to discuss if you're feeling verklempt:

RIP Joe Pa

An Idiot Abroad started season 2 last night.

Ravens/Patriots in a good game for the Super Bowl (Dannell Ellerbe is on Baltimore)

49ers/Giants on later this evening. (Demarcus Dobbs is on the 49ers and Danny Ware on the Giants)

We've got a bad basketball team, who probably gets demolished by Kentucky Tuesday, but baseball is less than a month away. And the girls hoops team is currently dominating Ole Miss.

I am not going to honor the AJC hate boards with any links. I will just tell y'all some facts. Commings was arrested for domestic violence this morning at approximately 9AM and is in jail without bond until a hearing. The lady involved is apparently his girlfriend.

From Coach Richt, "I'm aware of the situation and in the process of gathering necessary information....However, any time a student-athlete is arrested it is a matter of serious concern."

A few points to remember. Commings has not been before a judge, and has not been convicted. Let's stick with the facts. Also, Coach Richt has been very strict and quick with discipline, after the facts and case was clear. Domestic violence is a serious as heck issue and there is no doubt Coach Richt won't take it lightly, but the judicial process does have to take place. Dawgsports sends its prayers to all parties involved.

Seth Emerson has the story here.

Feel free to comment - but please keep it clean and classy.

Following the sage advice that MidnightFrost1701 gave me during a lengthy tangent in a recent thread, I logged into Netflix and looked up a 2011 documentary written and produced by William Shatner titled simply, The Captains. It is, as you might surmise, a retrospective on the lives of every person that has played the primary captain character in all of the Star Trek iterations, helpfully interrupted by endless pontificating from emceed by William Shatner.

(What? Of course this is a relevant topic for this blog. Dr. Leonard McCoy attended Ole Miss, and Georgia's playing the Fighting McCoy Bears today in basketball. So there!)

I have to admit that I went into the documentary with a skeptical eye... but I have a fondness for the absurd, and what I discovered was that this 96-minute film is a theatre of the absurd at its glorious height.

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I received a late Christmas gift last week. The twin-DVD documentary, 1980 Dawgs The Inside Story of the National Championship Season, directed and filmed by Lenny Daniels along with executive producer Mike Moss, arrived with much anticipation. I actually bought it as a present to myself, after getting the green-light from Mrs. DavetheDawg. Turns out, the Christmas credit card bill wasn't so bad this year...so I was allowed to indulge in this bit of Georgia history, which isn't cheap at $50 bucks. Is it worth the price? It is, at least in my mind. This is a delightful trip down memory lane, and for the older fan who remembers how this particular season played out, it belongs on your shelf. The harder sell might be the younger generation of Dawg Nation. The production of the film is not flashy, but it doesn't need to be. It's strengths are not necessarily the film clips of each individual play, but the stories. The wonderful, wonderful stories. These guys obviously put in a great amount of time in researching and writing for such a niche-specific audience, and it shows.

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Although I allowed my natural tendencies as a smart-aleck to take over, several of my fellow BlogPoll voters applied themselves seriously to the task of compiling an extremely early 2012 preseason poll, and the Georgia Bulldogs are projected as the nation's seventh-best team heading into next autumn. The Red and Black received one first-place vote, from The Smoking Musket, though the Classic City Canines inspired the third-highest degree of disagreement between BlogPollsters, probably for the reasons Senator Blutarsky suggests.

Georgia is slotted as the best team in the division, but just the fourth-best in the league, as the LSU Tigers, Alabama Crimson Tide, and Arkansas Razorbacks check in at second, third, and sixth, respectively. The South Carolina Gamecocks rounded out the top ten, while other Bulldog foes languished among the "others receiving votes," including the Auburn Tigers, Florida Gators, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Missouri Tigers, Tennessee Volunteers, and Vanderbilt Commodores.

Go 'Dawgs!

If you've been a UGA fan for a while, you remember that every offseason comes with at least one surprise shocker of a player who decided to forgo his final year of eligibility in lieu of chasing the paper that comes with an NFL contract. Names like Asher Allen, Danny Ware, Reshad Jones all come immediately to mind. It's not that those guys couldn't cut it in the NFL, as they're all still on rosters and I know for a fact that Ware and Jones are both playing prominent roles with their team, but with one more year, those guys could have been first or second round talents. Of those three names, Allen was drafted in the third round, Jones went in the fifth, and Ware, who goes by "DJ" now, went undrafted.

Every offseason, UGA fans worry over who the next guy making the ill-advised jump would be. This year was no different. Last Friday, the remaining Dawg juniors thought to be considering a jump to the NFL all held a press conference. Hours earlier, one of those juniors, Branden Smith, faked myself and many others out by putting out on his Twitter feed that he was looking ahead and had to do what was best for himself and his family. I wrote then on my own Twitter feed that I would be downright shocked if he stayed.

More after the jump...

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