He Plays UnFairley: Why We Remember

Kevin C. Cox

As many of y'all know, I've been on vacation this week, so this is a bit thrown together. The upside of waiting, though, was that I was able to be inspired by the comment thread that dealt largely with Fairley trolling/baiting and why Bulldog fans won't just move on and let all that hate go. I delve into this a bit in poetic form, but I want to spell it out for those who still don't understand: we hate Fairley, Cammy-Cam, Trooper Taylor, and that whole 2010 Auburn team because they are the embodiment of what Auburn is, what Auburn has long been, and what Auburn stands for. Those 3 guys are the trifecta of Auburnness (Auburndom?): You have the dirty player, the alleged paid-for-play player, and the classless coach.

Many of my generation didn't understand before this game why we should hate Auburn. We bought the whole "friendly rivalry" bit because who cared about a bunch of stuff that happened before we were fans? Auburn is different now, right? Well, in 2010, our wise Bulldog elders got to point to that Auburn team and say, "This is who Auburn is. This is the embodiment of what we have been trying to tell y'all all these years. Look at them and remember." So we do.

And another thing: 2010 isn't exactly "back in the day" during the old-timey days of yore. 2010 was 3 whopping years ago. It's not exactly ancient history. Guys who played against that 2010 assterisky Auburn team still play for this Dawg team--including the guy who was victimized multiple times by Nick Fairley. To put 3 years in perspective, presidential and other elections are held every 4 years. College football players have 4 years of eligibility. Auburn hasn't scored a touchdown on Georgia for the last 7 quarters of this rivalry. Okay, so maybe that last one doesn't really prove my point; I just think it's funny. Heck, I would think Auburn fans would want us Dawg fans to focus on 2010 rather than the recent past considering the absolute curb-stompings we've dealt them in the past 2 years, but hey, whatever.



Now that I've gotten that out of my system, we can move onto the poems, which are inspired by George Gordon, Lord Byron. Like Auburn, he had many different and confusing titles, so I'm just going with this one because it makes the most sense. (For the record, offers this explanation of the titles: George Gordon Byron, 6th Baron Byron, later George Gordon Noel, 6th Baron Byron, FRS , commonly known simply as Lord Byron...") Someone mentioned Byron in one of the threads, which put me in mind of that famous poem "She Walks in Beauty." I then went searching through Byron's shorter works (sorry, y'all; no "Don Juan" or "Childe Harold" here since those are a little too long for me) and found one that perfectly fits my theme of remembrance; it is aptly titled "Remember Thee! Remember Thee!" With apologies to Lord Byron and with no apologies to Auburn:



He plays unFairley on this night

of classless climes and lousy lies;

all that's worst of blue and white

Meets in his dirty hits fans prize:

Not mellow'd to that sordid sight

are Bulldogs who gaudy urnge despise.

He hits the more, gets flagged the less;

the refs permit this great disgrace

by failing Fairley to suppress.

He harshly grates on Murray's face--

Where thoughts of disbelief express

a fear of needing a back brace.

With dirty play and play for pay,

does Auburn remind Dawgs of why,

though cheats may win the year and day,

they cannot class or honor buy,

and that, at end of this gameday,

Barner stereotypes still apply.



Remember thee! Remember thee!

As hoses drench fans with cold streams,

shall Bulldogs hate and insult thee

and seek to crush your cheating-fueled dreams.

Remember thee! Aye, doubt it not.

Our Murray, too, shall think of thee.

By no Dawg shalt y'all be forgot.

Thou falsely win; thou loathsome be.



For your viewing pleasure, I've provided some bonus hate:



Click to see Fairley facemask an Oregon player over and over again. Fun for the entire family!



Click to see some other Auburn player kicking an Oregon player over and over again. Fun for the entire family!

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