FanPost

The Hanging Gator, Day 3: Toil and Trouble

Kirby Lee-US PRESSWIRE

If yesterday's poem was about simplicity, today's poem is about complexity. Let's face it: Lady Luck delights in perennially crushing our face with a hobnail boot, so we have to look elsewhere for football help. Heck, that's how the Goat Roast got started, right? From the notion that there has to be some sort of aid we can seek beyond the realms of the natural? Today, I present to you a possible solution that is brought to you by the most well-known section of Shakespeare's Macbeth. Todd Gurley may be the difference-maker this Saturday--in more ways than one. Today's gif--which will likely not play unless clicked for some reason I stayed up until the very wee hours last night trying to correct--illustrates the way that Gurley might be able to combine good and bad elements to make a winning potion that will tip the balance in our favor. I contemplated rewriting the famous, "Double, double toil and trouble" part, but I just didn't see the point and, quite frankly, didn't think I could do better. That couplet is a classic, and we Dawgs know how to respect the classics.

Cheer down at the cauldron loud;

in, the essence of fan crowd.

Hate, brewed hot in Bulldog hearts;

hate, without an end or start.

Special brownies Podunk brought*;

throw them in with joint of pot.

Double, double toil and trouble;

fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Liver of a lying snake,

in the cauldron boil and bake.

Eye of ref and brain of booth,

Munson's breath and Uga's tooth.

Weiss's fork and blind ref's flag.

A piece of ice from Uga's bag.

For a charm of Gatorful trouble,

let this cocktail boil and bubble.

Double, double toil and trouble;

fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

A piece of Newton's old laptop;

ticket from an Athens cop.

PIN from dead girl's credit card.

"Time to die, witch!" text SIM card.

Tape of Buck to Lindsay Scott;

toss it all into the pot.

Fiber from Darth Visor's hat;

shot of a Hernandez tat.

Gator choked by Jarvis Jones;

torn ACL and broken bones.

Urban Meyer's last time-out;

essence of a Muschamp pout.

Add the pain of Tebow's shoulder

to make this cocktail even bolder.

Double, double toil and trouble;

fire burn and cauldron bubble.

*Podunkdawg did, of course, bring the special brownies solely for the purpose of the potion/cocktail.

7kmb8ye_medium

via i.imgur.com

Please click on the gif to see Gurley making a bubbling WLOCP Cocktail.

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