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This year's World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party may not have the drama and implications of some years, but as you can see above its still part of Saturday's TV lineup. Things haven't gone as the Georgia Bulldogs had hoped this season. Things aren't any better for the Florida Gators. That latter bit I'm okay with, the former bit not so much. We lost to Clemson, Missouri, and Vanderbilt. Half our team is on life support. And (I'm just guessing here) Penn Wagers is probably going to be officiating Saturday's game in Jacksonville. Yikes. On the plus side, Michael Adams is no longer the president of the University of Georgia. So if we take all of that into account, I'm gonna call it a net positive.
Brighter days are on the horizon! The sun'll come out tomorrow! Insert baseless optimistic cliche here!
And with that, here are the games I think you should be watching this weekend:
Thursday night, despite being a full slate, holds very few games of consequence. For your viewing pleasure, I can really only recommend the Arizona St. Sun Devils at the Washington St. Cougars. If that doesn't do it for you (and let's be honest, that's pretty likely) just drink a 6-pack and throw eggs at teenage trick-or-treaters... turn the tables on them, if you will.
As you slowly digest the metric ton of candy you stole from your sleeping children, sit back and "enjoy" the USC Trojans taking on the Oregon St. Beavers. Or just continue watching because you can't get up.
Saturday's early action is headlined by the game between the Army Black Knights and the Air Force Falcons (as far as I'm concerned). If you'd rather you could always watch the Illinois Fighting Illini and the Penn St. Nittany Lions, the Virginia Tech Hokies and the Boston College Eagles, or the Wisconsin Badgers and the Iowa Hawkeyes. What's that you say? Army/Air Force? You've chosen wisely.
Join us, won't you, for a game of little meaning and even less consequence as the Georgia Bulldogs and the Florida Gators trot out their 3rd and 4th string to take part in the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. Come for the booze, stay for the season ending injuries and despair! When you just can't take it anymore, you have options of the Michigan Wolverines and the Michigan St. Spartans or the Navy Midshipmen once again defeating the Notre Dame Fighting Irish in a game the Irish used to dominate.
There is some interesting SEC action Saturday night with the Auburn Tigers likely taking the Arkansas Razorbacks behind the shed and the Tennessee Volunteers attempting to pull off an upset against the Missouri Tigers. Furthermore, you could bask in the glory of the Pitt Panthers struggling to match the futility of the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets. Or you could follow the lead of literally every other person who enjoys football and watch the Florida St. Seminoles play the Miami Hurricanes.
Late night is pretty bare this week with only the UTEP Miners and the Texas A & M Aggies or the Nevada Wolfpack and the Fresno St. Bizarro Bulldogs to keep you occupied. Might wanna head to bed early.
Here's a fall cocktail recipe I concocted in an attempt to undo the voodoo currently affecting the Georgia Bulldogs. I humbly request that everyone drink this simultaneously at 3:29 pm on Saturday afternoon in lieu of a human sacrifice at The Arch.
1 GALLON INDIAN RIVER APPLE JUICE
1 JAR OF CINNAMON STICKS
1 CUP OF BILTMORE WASSAIL SPICE BLEND
2 CUPS MAKERS MARK
1 CUP SOUTHERN COMFORT
3 ANTERIOR CRUCIATE LIGAMENTS (Preferably those of skill position players)
Combine all ingredients in a large crock pot and heat on high for 2 hours or until the ACLs dissolve. Chug.
(Note: Those with weak stomachs may alter the recipe by leaving out the ligaments. Georgia will, however, lose the game as a result. So suck it up.)
That's all for this week folks! Hope everyone's drive back from Jacksonville isn't a long and miserable one.