Crock Pot Recruiting #5

Chris Burnette loves Crock Pot Food - USA TODAY Sports

This one will fatten you up for sure which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's a long off-season and we've got to store up for the long, hard winter. You never know when the next Ice Age will strike. Better safe than sorry.

I don't want to harp on about that little 'ol football game from last Monday night, but I've got a point to make. What was the biggest reason Alabama crushed Notre Dame (aside from the fact that Notre Dame was, and still is, just a little over rated)? I'll tell you what it was. Linemen. Big Uglies. The Brotherhood of Burl. The Sasquatches of Squat. The Great Wall of Hiney. Alabama had 'em and Notre Dame, especially on defense, didn't. After Bama's initial drive when they ground pounded the Irish into the end zone, game over. Someone on the radio prior to the game said that Notre Dame hadn't allowed a touchdown drive longer than 40 yards all year, or something to that effect. I might've been Tim Brown. Anyway, what is my point? It's all about the line, folks. Until you have one, you don't. Which brings me to my next cooking concoction and the recruit who inspired this (with a tip 'o the cap to hailtogeorgia, our intrepid blogger/world traveler). By all accounts, this recruit is absolutely what Will Friend ordered. He's big, he's athletic, and he's got a nasty streak that we haven't seen since Ben Jones. I think we should immortalize him in food, no?

CROCK POT RECRUITING INSTALLMENT #5

Beef Kublano(ff)

At 6' 2" tall and a bag of sugar shy of 300 pounds, Brandon Kublanow of Walton (Marietta) High product plays center, but could play guard as well and may play early. He was selected to the U.S. Army All-American High School team and by all accounts, was one of the better performers when given his shot in limited play. He not only gets great push, but he finishes his blocks until the whistle, often several yards down field to the dismay of his "mirror" across from him. What has me most excited is he's got that nasty streak that is an intangible you want in an offensive linemen. It is not a position for the meek. This guy doesn't come across as the least bit timid. In fact, he wants to "kill people...on the football field." It's a figure of speech, I think. Me likey. Me likey a lot. Georgia is addressing the offensive line, with several recruits committed and another rather large individual who is leaning that could, along with Mr. Kublanow, elevate this class from very good to downright awesome. Welcome aboard, Brandon. Now, let's get ready to feast.

Crock Pot Beef Stroganoff does have a few ingredients to it, but that's what makes it so good. This recipe yields approximately 2.5 metric tons, so be advised. On with the show...

2 lbs. of beef sirloin steak (or Filet Mignon if you're an aristocrat like Mr. Kublanow), cut into thin strips*

2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil. I like 5W-30.

Cup of Water.

large container of mushrooms, sliced. You can use Portobello if the Tax Increase didn't ding you too badly.

small chopped onion.

1/4 cup of red wine.

1/2 stick of butter. I use a little bit more because, well...you know.

1.5 cups of sour cream.

pinch of sugar, a bit of salt...

1 packet of McCormack Beef Stroganoff seasoning mix. Let me tell you...I had a hard time finding this. Call your local grocery first.

And the directions:

Get a large skillet and brown the beef in the oil. When brown, add in the water and McCormick seasoning. Make sure you mix it good...get rid of the lumps. Then, transfer everything...drippings and all...into your Crock Pot.

With your skillet nice and hot, saute the mushrooms and onion in the 1/2 stick of butter. Once it all melts and blends, combine the wine and sugar. Toss it into the Crock Pot. Cover it and cook it for 6-7 hours on LOW.

When you are ready to serve it up, stir in the sour cream. Cook the noodles per the instructions (about 10 minutes in boiling water) just before dishing it up. It actually yields about 6-8 servings for the normal person. Or just one serving if your name is Chuckdawg. That boy do love to eat...

SUPERFINE BONUS ITEM: DESSERT!

Reuben Bananas Foster

Reuben Foster is probably the #1 rated linebacker in the class of 2013. His recruitment has been about as wild as a Lindsay Lohan joyride. Without going into too much detail, the smoke has just about cleared and the Dawgs may be sitting in the catbird's seat for Reuben's signature on February 6. He plays inside linebacker, and at 6' 1 and around 240, he's ideal in run-stopping support and has good wheels with a 40 yard dash time of around 4.6 seconds. Again, his recruitment has been "interesting." If he winds up playing for Todd Grantham, he could be a Game 1 starter...he's that good. This one is coming down to the wire. It makes me hungry just thinking about it. I need something sweet...

This recipe comes from the kitchen of a Damn Good Dawg...Alton Brown. Yep, Alton matriculated at UGA about the time I was there...in the early-to-mid 80's, having received a degree in Drama. Anyway, he's one of my favorite chefs and here's his Bananas Foster recipe that, admittedly, I haven't tried yet...but is on my to-do list as soon as I quit this damned diet I'm on. Which might happen by Saturday night...

Ingredients

2 tablespoons unsalted butter (blasphemy!)

1/4 cup dark brown sugar

1/4 teaspoon ground allspice

1/2 teaspoon of freshly ground nutmeg

1 tablespoon banana liqueur. I like the sound of this...

2 under ripe bananas (a bit of green still on the stems), sliced lengthwise

1/4 cup dark rum. I really like the sound of this...

1/2 teaspoon finely grated orange zest

Directions

Melt butter in a 10-inch heavy skillet over low heat. Add brown sugar, allspice and nutmeg and stir until sugar dissolves. Add banana liqueur and bring sauce to simmer. Add bananas and cook for 1 minute on each side, carefully spooning sauce over bananas as they are cooking. Remove bananas from pan to a serving dish. Bring sauce to a simmer and carefully add the rum. If the sauce is very hot, the alcohol will flame on its own. If not, using stick flame, carefully ignite and continue cooking until flame dies out, approximately 1 to 2 minutes. If sauce is too thin, cook for 1 to 2 minutes until it becomes syrupy in consistency. Add orange zest (this, you might want to leave out because nothing sucks like a big orange) to combine. Immediately spoon the sauce over bananas and serve. Serve with waffles, crepes, or ice cream.

There you have it, folks. My 10,000 calorie, diet busting Beef Kublano(ff) and Reuben Bananas Foster extravaganza. It isn't for the easily intimidated...just like the dude Big Brandon will be blocking soon and hopefully the running back that gets stuffed by Reuben Foster if he pulls the trigger. Speaking of stuffed, let's eat!

As always, (Dawg) Bone Appetit and Go Dawgs!

*Auburn fans, substitute a fish head for the steak.

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