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Ri-kus: Passing the Time Until Kickoff

I am as ready for kickoff this Saturday as anyone else here, so I am filling that time as any good Poet Laureate would: by writing poetry. Okay, so "poetry" is a rather generous term, and the following haikus are not exactly up to in-season form. But we're not in season yet, so taking the most hated teams from the Bracket of Hate and writing haikus from their perspectives is a perfectly good use of anyone's time, right?

Calling all of these teams rivals may be a stretch, but the Bracket of Hate suggests that, rivals or not, these teams are hated by a decent percentage of readers. I suppose I could call these "Hate-kus," but I thought of "Ri-kus" first and I'm sticking with it. There will be two ri-kus posted a day, and readers are, of course, welcome to submit their own creative works of hatred. Rivals who wish to defend their honor may do so, so long as it's done poetically and in reasonably good taste.

Next week, I will hopefully post something that will live up to in-season standards. For now, however, there are only ri-kus of varying quality that will be posted in relative ascending order of Dawg Sports hatred:

Arkansas

We play the Gamecocks

Instead of the Dawgs, so thanks,

N-C-Double-A.

USC

We're off probation,

Ready to shock the nation

Thanks to Lane Kiffen.

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via media.tripod.lycos.com

I added my own artwork, so I can now post this due to fair use, right? Who knew legalities could cause so much fun?

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