The Dawg Wørd(s): June 9, 2012

As one might expect, with the level of traffic we regularly receive at Dawg Sports, we show up in a lot of search results. Generally, most of our search-result visitors have entered something fairly predictable, like "Georgia Bulldogs football," "did Georgia win last night," "Why does a primarily college football-focused website do so much soccer coverage," or something like that. (Ok, not that last one. But still.)

And then, we have the outliers. Any comments by me are in (parentheses) below, and I have excluded all of the NSFW results. All of the following search terms have been used to reach a page or picture on the dawgsports.com website within the last 7 days:

- touchdown dance
- let the butthurt flow though you
- charlie arrested dui boise idaho (But is there a hype video of Charlie biting the cop's finger?)
- list of association football clubs in brazil (Does "Brazil" count?)
- big bad world trucks
- are washington husky fans arrogant
- pictures of jackwagon (MichaelAdams.jpg)
- cajun cartoon character (JamesCarville.jpg)
- gene wilder sheep photo (Welcome, Aggies!)
- default the two sweetest words
- elvis presley singing on stage
- stark trek nod
- dan borislow wife
- مدينة سيام بارك (This is "Siam Park City" in Arabic)
- bobbi morse mockingbird
- funny acronym nafta
- heath barkley cowboy hat profile (You know, you really don't see enough profiles of someone's cowboy hat.)
- big bang theory howard recognize
- what do you call someone who plays 2 varsity sports (Biathlete?)
- guy drinking martini (raises glass)
- appearance c&f
- nacho taboada solé (Que?)
- frank zappa stencil
- girl string
- lsu football player fat lard
- polldawg (Yo, dawg, I heard you like polls...)
- michigan fans are the worst
- ‘I laughed, I cried – It became a part of me!’
- gallant gamey
- no tickling
- hey dawg i heard you like butterfly doors
- the swedish chef (Bork bork!)
- james dean giant oil well
- general lee poster
- king troll
- мадагаскар рико (This is "Madagascar rico" in Russian)
- natum videte regem angelorum angel medal
- ugly hillbilly men
- mexican outdoor siesta
- is michigan better for hunting than texas? (I don't know... who is the current Santa Ana professor of hunting in Austin?)
- oklahoma movie poster
- mark richt keeps dead player on roster (Uh... what?)
- fawg georgia (that's what you get on mornings when it's warm and the humidity is real high)
- abandon hope
- take some exception
- jeffersons opening
- silly orc

From the "How do I Internet" department:
- cyberquestlive
- chtuluh
- imagenes serie dallas cliff
- teams in the who wins the ncaa champonship between okla and alba women
- funny soccer pictures i can beal i'm flying
- peter buck jovi
- dad off step brothers
- what gorga look like
- emma sonnet nasa 12 socerr
- georgia bulldog print copyright 1979 university of georgia athletic ass (snicker)
- luc skywalker no
- conclusion maybe that 5 years
- univerist of georgia receuiting class fall 2012

From the "Dang, are you in the wrong place" department:
- mack brown smiling (Hey, Mack... What time is it in Texas?)
- zippy kids geogia
- parrott
- stalin
- who is jenn sterger dating (I'm going to guess her pharmacist. Those antibiotics are expensive.)
- kent state massacre photos
- ihop (Sorry, Waffle House only, please.)
- images of 1877 boulder colorado
- "broken ankle" girl (Why would you even search for that??)
- trivial pursuit cards only
- monster loch ness (A wonderful Scot once told me, "The only thing monster about Loch Ness are the prices in the gift shop.")
- starfleet recruiting
- miss an open net hockey
- smiley face with teeth (NO TEETH!)
- boy scout fleur de lis
- 1996 wac conference
- las vegas lazy river wait (You'll be waiting a loooong time if the line stretches back to Athens, GA.)
- uga jorts (You. Out.)

And finally, this week's edition of the Dawg Wørd(s) Mad Lib, where the blanks are filled in with (mostly) randomly chosen search terms:
One day, a completely fictional person, who for the purposes of this story we'll call "dawgievineyard" was minding his own business, surfing the web for pictures of _scotland girls drinking whisky_. Then, suddenly, a _dr phil book_ appeared out of nowhere. "Who are you?" dawgievineyard asked. "I'm the lawyer fairy, little dawgie," the apparition answered, "And I'm here to make sure you don't post any more pictures of _senator mccarthy_ without permission." "But what about _florida gators hate_?" dawgie asked. "LOLNO," Lawyer fairy answered. "Why don't you e-mail _gollum james carville_ and get his permission to post pictures of _golden days of the barbershop quartets_, and then you can knock yourself out." "But if I can't post _gator fans with no teeth_, then how am I going to be funny?" dawgievineyard asked. "WE AREN'T HERE TO BE FUNNY, DAMMIT!" Lawyer Fairy answered. "WE'RE A SPORTS BLOG!" "I guess you're right," dawgie replied. "We're really more about pessimism and _sitting in class_, aren't we?" And then dawgievineyard spent the weekend weeping and deleting his entire _univeristy of tennessee fan vomiting_ collection.

FIN

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