Free Form Friday is committed to educating the youth of the Peach State, and will do so for less than some other virtual university administrators. The crew at Roll Bama Roll, for example, would almost certainly insist on an 8 foot tall bronze statue of themselves after the first big move up in the U.S. News & World Report rankings. So please, write to the Board of Regents. Drop our collective names in the hat. And know that our first move will be to install a course on the geometry of Herschel Walker's greatest runs as an elective in the math department. Because the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, but when you have both the speed and mass of a Kentucky Derby winning racehorse, all paths are the path of least resistance.
Maestro, plug 'em in and turn 'em up. Kinda Chuck Berry-style:
As you may have gleaned from Kyle's reaction, we here at Dawg Sports are not shedding a lot of tears over the impending retirement of President Michael Adams. We aren't exactly dancing a jig either, since Adams will be around for another 14 months or so, giving him plenty of time to shove his fists still deeper into the pockets of Georgia taxpayers to pay for lavish parties for his family and South American beach homes doubling as study abroad campuses. I assume that Adams has recommended his old buddy from his Pepperdine days, Jim Harrick, to be his replacement. That guy's a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.
And to be fair, Adams has not been a total and complete failure as a University President. The standing of the University of Georgia as an academic institution has been on a generally upward trajectory during his term. In particular the University's reputation as a top flight research university has grown, due in part to some high profile successes.
On the athletic side, it is my conviction that Adams' legacy will largely be determined by one of his most recent decisions: the hiring of Greg McGarity to replace Damon Evans as Athletic Director. So far the results of that decision are promising. And Adams deserves some credit for not getting too cute with the hire. McGarity was the obvious choice to anyone who was paying attention, and he made no secret that he wanted the job. One can only hope that with over a year to do it the powers that be will find a President who gets along with McGarity as well or better than Adams got along with the Athletic Director in power when he arrived.
And while rumors of Adams' next career move are nothing new, we here at Dawg Sports thought we would take some time to suggest a few career paths which Il Duce may not have considered, but for which his unique skill set seems appropriate. Examples include:
- That voice in the cable company's on hold message who tells you your call is very important to them, even though you know damned well they'd rather you just pay your bill and shut up.
- Social Director on tropical cruise for retired KGB agents. ("On Soviet cruise ship,
- Oil rig roughneck (actually he'd be horrible at this but the thought of him openly weeping over the grime under his fingernails makes me giggle.)
- Spokesperson for online university of questionable repute ("Come to our website to see what you can do with 34 terminal degrees and a sense for politics that would make Rasputin simultaneously uncomfortable and envious!"
- Goat herder. In a sense he's been doing this for several years anyhow. It's just that the stick he beat people over the head with to keep them in line was figurative.
- Pole dancer. Again, he's been shaking it for cash since 1997, so this one should be second nature.
Feel free to include your suggestions for the bowtied one's second act in the comments.
As a palate cleanser, we'd like to note late, great Bulldog radio announcer Larry Munson's induction in the inaugural class of the Tennessee Radio Hall of Fame. Munson of course worked calling Vanderbilt games before coming to the Classic City, a feat for which he should have probably received hardship pay. You folks got him first, but we got his best. Of course we gave him a lot more to work with, too. Congratulations to the Munson family on a well-deserved honor for the legendary voice of the Georgia Bulldogs, and Vanderbilt Commodores. Until later . . .