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Free Form Friday At The Movies: And The Oscar Goes To . . .Derek Dooley As "SEC Football Coach #6!"

It's awards show time again, which means theme music not approved by the Motion Picture Academy Of America, and a passel of offseason awards you won't find on this weekend's telecast, all after the jump . . .

Star-divide


Best Villain In An Offseason Drama: This is a tough one. Sure Nick Saban drew his usual flack during the lead up to Signing Day for his continued efforts to further the science of roster management. But really that would be like awarding George Strait the Best Male Artist Award for the 18th year in a row at the Grammys. And that's not our style.

Instead this one goes to Derek Dooley for his ham-handed approach to the transfer of DeAnothony Arnett. Arnett, you may recall, was the young man who wanted to leave Tennessee to return home to Michigan to be near his ailing father. Dooley was willing to let Arnett transfer back to the state of Michigan, just not to Michigan State or the University of Michigan. His lame rationale was that those are schools that Tennessee "plays or recruits against."

As Yahoo! Sports' Graham Watson correctly pointed out, it was a petty little swipe. It was all the worse because, quite frankly, Derek Dooley's mama and daddy raised him better than that. Dooley ultimately relented, but not before his PR blunder further cemented his reputation among Vol fans (and the rest of us) as a good football coach nevertheless in way, way over his head at the helm of an SEC football program.

Best Supporting Actor: Ponzi schemer and Miami booster Nevin Shapiro. The critical attribute of a great supporting cast member is his ability to fit seamlessly into what's going on around him, enhancing the finished product without becoming the product. Shapiro is the south Florida sidewalk alumnus from central casting. If sleazeballs like Shapiro did not naturally flock to the gaudy, day-glo machine that is Hurricane football, the NCAA would have to legislate them into existence. So atuned is Shapiro to Hurricane football, that picked up the singular characteristic of that program:the belief, in spite of all objective evidence, that what he's doing and saying is still relevant to the rest of us.

Best Actor In A Comedy:

This is a tricky category if only because, as Mel Brooks noted, one man's comedy is another's tragedy. There are all sorts of tragi-comic things going on in college football these days. But I think the best individual performance in this genre has to go to

Best Picture: Oh that's easy:

Best_picture_2012_medium

Not an offseason picture, but the reigning champion until something better comes along. Feel free to include your own nominations and ruminations in the comments. Until later . . .

Go 'Dawgs!

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TTJ

Now on Twitter at @MaconDawg. Same great snark, fewer characters!

by MaconDawg on Feb 24, 2012 6:33 PM EST up reply actions  

Combine News:

Orson Charles weighed in at 251 at the NFL Combine, and bench pressed 225 pounds 35 times.

For comparison, only one offensive lineman put up a better number (David Molk from Michigan), Cordy Glenn put up a solid 31 reps, and Justin Anderson put up 32 reps.

NFL.com has all the results.

by UGAVike on Feb 24, 2012 5:15 PM EST reply actions  

Which depresses me to no end...

because Orson Charles should’ve touched the ball at least 35 times a game last season.
#FireMikeBobo

Editor @ Dawg Sports. 3rd degree Red 'n Black Belt.
"If we score, we may win. If they never score, we'll never lose."
-Erk Russell

by DavetheDawg on Feb 24, 2012 5:19 PM EST up reply actions  

But that's just what they would've expected!!!

So clearly we needed to run Carlton Thomas up the middle.
/GreenNotebook’d

One of the authors at DawgSports.com

by Spears on Feb 24, 2012 5:29 PM EST up reply actions  

You are growing well in the darkside my friend.

(and it’s true what you said).

Editor, Dawgsports, SB Nation's Georgia Bulldogs weblog.

"The ball ain't heavy." Herschel Walker

by chuckdawg on Feb 24, 2012 6:51 PM EST up reply actions  

'12 Pro Combat Helmet?

If you’re gonna bark, might as well go dark…

Editor @ Dawg Sports. 3rd degree Red 'n Black Belt.
"If we score, we may win. If they never score, we'll never lose."
-Erk Russell

by DavetheDawg on Feb 24, 2012 7:14 PM EST up reply actions  

Throw a G on the side - that might be kinda cool.

Editor, Dawgsports, SB Nation's Georgia Bulldogs weblog.

"The ball ain't heavy." Herschel Walker

by chuckdawg on Feb 24, 2012 7:20 PM EST up reply actions  

That is exactly . . . I mean exactly . . .

. . . the thought I had, as well.

The cape might be a bit much, though.

Manager, Dawg Sports, SB Nation's Georgia Bulldogs weblog.
Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Feb 25, 2012 1:14 AM EST up reply actions  

Capes are never a bit too much.

Editorial Staff, Dawg Sports, SB Nation's Georgia Bulldogs weblog.
@NCThom
Go 'Dawgs!

by NCT on Feb 25, 2012 1:36 AM EST via iPhone app up reply actions   1 recs

I was thinking that less from a fashion-conscious standpoint . . .

. . . than from a not-wanting-our-running-backs-to-be-dragged-down-from-behind-by-defenders standpoint.

(The costume designer’s anti-cape rant from Pixar’s “The Incredibles” goes here.)

Manager, Dawg Sports, SB Nation's Georgia Bulldogs weblog.
Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Feb 25, 2012 1:58 AM EST up reply actions  

"The Incredibles" was fantastic.

And the scene you’re referencing is probably my favorite. They could do an entire movie about her, and I would totally go see it.

Betting on college football is for people who find the outcomes of squirrel races contested upon miniature minefields entirely too predictable. ~MaconDawg

by MidnightFrost1701 on Feb 25, 2012 2:25 AM EST up reply actions  

I agree completely, MidnightFrost1701.

I have an eight-year-old and a three-year-old, so I’ve seen a lot of Pixar and DreamWorks movies, and “The Incredibles” is right up there at the top. It captures all the comic book conventions exceedingly well, in the same way that “Galaxy Quest” captured the conventions of the original “Star Trek” series and the resulting fan confabs.

Manager, Dawg Sports, SB Nation's Georgia Bulldogs weblog.
Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Feb 25, 2012 9:14 AM EST up reply actions  

I don't have children, but I have multiple younger siblings.

So even as a teenager I ended up seeing plenty of kids’ movies while babysitting, and I have yet to see a bad Pixar film. As an adult, I still seek them out. My favorite is probably “Monsters Inc,” and I’m looking forward to “Monsters University.” “Ratatouille” was also just gorgeous, visually and narratively. The ratatouille recipe I tried making…not as much, unfortunately.

Betting on college football is for people who find the outcomes of squirrel races contested upon miniature minefields entirely too predictable. ~MaconDawg

by MidnightFrost1701 on Feb 25, 2012 2:54 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

No excuses for me.

I just love Pixar movies. If you don’t tear up a little bit during Wall*E, Up, or the Toy Story movies, you are a robot or a Vulcan.

One of the authors at DawgSports.com

by Spears on Feb 25, 2012 3:11 PM EST up reply actions  

Same here Spears

the only kid I can blame for me enjoying those movies is myself.

http://sportsandgrits.com/

by Mr. Sanchez on Feb 25, 2012 8:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Capes are bad. No capes!

/Incredibles’d

http://sportsandgrits.com/

by Mr. Sanchez on Feb 25, 2012 8:31 PM EST up reply actions  

And Lucas can convert it to 3D for us

but that would devalue the whole experience.

by fotodog on Feb 24, 2012 9:16 PM EST up reply actions  

Your post is too wordy.

All you have to say is, “Lucas can…” and the “but that would devalue the whole experience” is implicit.

Betting on college football is for people who find the outcomes of squirrel races contested upon miniature minefields entirely too predictable. ~MaconDawg

by MidnightFrost1701 on Feb 25, 2012 2:23 AM EST up reply actions  

Years from now, . . .

. . . fans of this weblog will discuss this comment thread and debate whether fotodog or MidnightFrost1701 fired first.

Manager, Dawg Sports, SB Nation's Georgia Bulldogs weblog.
Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Feb 25, 2012 9:15 AM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Han shot first, d@mmit!

Y’know, the more I learn about him, the more I think the original movies were masterpieces in spite of Lucas. Or rather, because he had good people around him who reined in his tendency toward excess.

Betting on college football is for people who find the outcomes of squirrel races contested upon miniature minefields entirely too predictable. ~MaconDawg

by MidnightFrost1701 on Feb 25, 2012 2:50 PM EST up reply actions  

Agreed, on both counts.

I don’t know which annoys me more, the dilution of “Star Wars” by having Greedo fire first, or the dilution of “E.T.” by giving the policemen walkie-talkies.

Manager, Dawg Sports, SB Nation's Georgia Bulldogs weblog.
Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Feb 25, 2012 11:08 PM EST up reply actions  

Oh dear god yes.

Fortunately, I haven’t seen that version of “E.T.,” and Spielberg had acknowledged the mistake by the time I’d even heard about it. I think the “E.T.” thing is more absurd in that it doesn’t significantly change anything about the movie (so why bother?). However, it’s also less personally annoying to me precisely because having Greedo shoot first does change Han’s characterization significantly (also, my estimation of Greedo’s bad@ssery takes quite a hit, which doesn’t do the movie any favors either).

Betting on college football is for people who find the outcomes of squirrel races contested upon miniature minefields entirely too predictable. ~MaconDawg

by MidnightFrost1701 on Feb 26, 2012 2:36 AM EST up reply actions   1 recs

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