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Valediction: A Forbidding Warning

Today's poem turned out completely differently than I expected it to, which is just as well since Ludakit's excellent post was fairly close to what I had originally planned to write. But then, I wrote I first line of the poem, and it reminded me of this article, and the forbidding warning turned into something else altogether. This was going to be a bit more fun, and I was even going to add a "Git 'R' Donne" for good measure. Instead, with apologies to John Donne:

Valediction: A Forbidding Warning

As virtuous men coach young guys to play
and tell them things they need to know,
whilst some of their teams' fans do say,
"Coach should go now," and some say, "No."

So let us watch, but make no move,
no tear-floods nor hissy fits pitch;
‘twould neither team nor brand behoove
to make a terrible coach switch.

Dull, unruly mouth-breathers love
(‘cause they lack sense) to call for coach's
absence because to him remove
would end all of their reproaches.

But we should be fans much more refin'd
that can question without malice,
without a loss of the mind,
and can be tough but not callous.

Our two goals, therefore, which are one
with our coach's, endure defeat,
the crowning of a champion,
regardless of the teams we beat.

These goals are two; they are simply
to win both on and off the field
though other coaches chide limply
and to the whims of their players yield.

Regardless of the way our trip
goes when we to the Plains doth roam;
whether we win, whether we slip,
proud we'll be of team that comes home.

My thanks to you I'll give, Coach Richt,
for this football program cleanly run.
Thy firmness makes me sometimes ticked,
but in the end, we're not Aubrun.

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