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Triple Option, Part I: The Art of Losing


This is Techie Hate Week, but it's also Thanksgiving Week. In order to avoid posting poetry that people aren't going to read anyway due to the holiday, I figured that I would do 3 poems that I will post tonight, tomorrow night, and Friday, expressing a triple option of hate for the Techies. This first entry is written from the perspective of the tortured mind of a Techie, so read with care. With apologies to Elizabeth Bishop:


The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many games against you dratted dogs
always seem to end-for us-in disaster.

We lose to you ev'ry year and cannot muster
ways to beat you, even on your blogs.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

We've practiced losing farther, losing faster:
Faces of fans were slackened from the slog
after the Middle Tennessee disaster.

We lost to Hokies and Canes at the last, in
overtime, before our Raider flop.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

We lost to two kitties, their point totals vaster;
at least we beat the Hose, the Hoos, and the Dookies.
See there? Our season isn't a disaster.

Even losing to you (I make a rude hand gesture)
Is not inevitable, you dumb Dwags.
The art of losing is not hard to master;
our offensive genius will cause pups' disaster.

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