I'll express some Techie hate later in the week, but this idea hit me while watching the madness yesterday and I had to see it through. Someone in the thread said that Dooley should just skip town, and that led to this bit of silliness. I didn't do this whole song because I didn't want to I found a natural stopping point in the poem, but here is a touching tribute to Dooley and the Volunfreude with which he so graciously provided us:

The Darlings-Andy Griffith Show/ "Dooley" (via vtroupe)

Sing along!

Dooley was a good ole man
who tried to coach the Vols.
Dooley had no conf'rence
wins but was good for some LOLs.

Vols got creamed by Vandy,
and Dooley's seat burned hot;
and Mama called up Precious
and told him her clever plot.

"Dooley, Vols are gonna holler.
Dooley, take millions of dollars.
Dooley, you heed this caller
and just bravely run away."

The Rocky Toppers came for him
with torches and pitch forks.
He stripped off his orange pants
and outran those drunk dorks.

Some say he's a traitor,
unwelcome in this state.
Others say he's welcome
even though he's second-rate.

Dooley tried to coach up yonder.
Dooley's calls all made us ponder.
Dooley now has to wander;
will he coach again someday?

via i.imgur.com

Dooley Precious Darling plays the jug with the rest of the band.