I know this is late and is something that is better suited for last week, but the other idea I had was crap and wouldn't come together and Shelley came to the rescue. The original "Oyzymandias" is a sonnet about a traveler who recounts his impressions of a once impressive statue of a once great man that now lies in ruin, so that seems at least semi-appropriate when applied to the current state of the Barn's program. With apologies to Shelley (and those of you who were expecting something about Southern):

I met a traveler from across the Plains
who said: "A crystal football's legs of steel
stand in the ebon. As that program wanes,
all in, amidst the bribes and lies, it still
validity of trophy's win maintains.
One can tell that its head coach soon will be
out of a job with assistants in tow,
and many will feel great hilarity
when recalling the coach's attitude:
‘My name is Chizmandias, Big HeadCoach:
Look at my program, h8rz, and brood.'
Only trophy remains. Round the decay
of that deserted wreck--hapless Dawg food--
whose last conf'rence win seems so far away.

Chizmandias continues to celebrate his win on the burning plains (with "asterisk trophy Chizik" made by LSU Freek, of course).