The Alligator Coach

This is my last post using alligator-based poetry; the last two days will be a two-part series that will hopefully wrap us this year's Hate Week poetry in epic fashion. Whether the works themselves will live up to that billing remains to be seen, but that's just par for the course for us Dawgs, right? There has been much talk lately about change and doing something different, but sometimes, a classic can serve just as well as something new and exciting. "Sesame Street" is a classic show, and their song called, "The Alligator King" aired fifteen years before I was born. So here is our Hump Day Hate Week special, with apologies to Sesame Street:

Sesame Street - The Alligator King (via TinyDancer500)

Feel free to sing along!

The Alligator Coach

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven!
Said the Alligator Coach to his football team,
"Let's beat those Bulldogs down.
Whichever of us can win this game
Will wear the Eastern crown."

The first play saw Driskel on the ground,
On his bottom courtesy of Tree.
The second found Gillislee beneath the mound
Of six-three, three hundred sixty.

The third play had Reed and Hammond
Lined up in their own running routes.
But Jarvis Jones broke through and hammered
The QB ‘fore he got the football out.

On fourth down, Gators tried to punt;
The kicker, back did drop.
Special teams ran up the gut,
Broke through their shield, and busted that punter right in his chops.

The fifth play brought Dawgs on the field
In awesome, sexy silver pants.
T. King caught the ball and he ran in for six
And did a (legal) endzone dance.

The six points turned to seven on the board
As Marshall kicked it through.
The Coach pitched a fit on the Saurian side line
And crinkled up his nose.

The counterpart of the Alligator Coach
Was a thoughtful gentleman.
He said, "Muschamp, thanks for the help
To win the East; I'm your biggest fan."

Said the Alligator Coach to his counterpart,
"Congrats; you win the crown.
If you win out, you can go to Atlanta
For a big-time Bama beatdown."

"Take the crown, it's yours, my Dawgs,"
Our head coach said to his gents.
All that matters now is that lit scoreboard
You earned a hundred percent."

Go Dawgs!

I posted this Princess Bride picture in response to a troll in the comments under my previous posting, so I'm reposting it here.

This one, however, is new. And yes, I know he doesn't coach for the Gators anymore, but I never pass up an opportunity to pick on Weis.

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