In the course of looking ahead to this weekend’s college football action, we have gone around the SEC and looked at the national games of interest, thereby covering every game in need of mentioning . . . except one.
Naturally, I am referring to the national game of disinterest, that single game each week so lacking in drama, intrigue, or other redeeming characteristics that I refuse to pick a winner, because I wish to ignore it so completely that I don’t even bother finding out the final score afterwards.
There are some Saturdays on which the identity of the national game of disinterest is difficult to discern. This was not one of those Saturdays. The national game of disinterest is . . .
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I know. Storied traditions. Famous stadiums. Waking up the echoes. Hailing the victors. No offense, but don’t give me that crap.
Michigan has never played a night game at home . . . until now. Michigan and Notre Dame have never worn these uniforms . . . until now. Both teams have been playing football forever, yet this Saturday’s game represents just the 39th series meeting. That’s right; these historic rivals have played fewer than 40 times, and the Irish did not meet the Wolverines on the gridiron from 1910 to 1941, or from 1944 to 1977. Since the resumption of hostilities in 1978, the series has been interrupted in six seasons, most recently in 2001.
In short, these are teams who play some of the time, and are dressing up in unusual uniforms for an unprecedented kickoff time. Touting this as something sacrosanct is a bit much, even coming from two fan bases as full of themselves as these two.
Also, I hate to break this to you, but Michigan and Notre Dame both suck, and they have for a while. Yeah, I know, the Georgia Bulldogs suck, too, but I’m not trying to pass off their game this Saturday as a glorious spectacle at which the rest of college football ought to genuflect reverently . . . although the Red and Black have faced the South Carolina Gamecocks 62 times, including every season since 1992, so the border war between the Peach and Palmetto States has at least as much claim to being a bulwark of the sport as this meteor game between Midwestern also-rans who may want to pull their heads out of their hindquarters long enough to recognize that it ain’t 1945 any more.
Any game that a Georgia fan and a Georgia Tech fan can agree is insignificant is, by definition, the national game of disinterest. I’m not picking a winner because they both look like Ozymandias to me.