(Note: This post is meant for people with a sense of humor . There's nothing terribly offensive here (i.e. if you're looking for jokes about dead live mascots you've come to the wrong place, although there may occasionally be jokes about dead fictional and/or furry mascots. If you do not have a sense of humor, please feel free to avoid this article altogether. If you insist on reading it anyway and feel the need to complain in the comments, please identify yourself beforehand as someone with no sense of humor so the author and other blog readers may choose to ignore you accordingly.)
This week I will once again look at various aspects of our upcoming opponent with a little good-natured ribbing thrown in. Aspects as varied as pop-culture, athletics, politics, entertainment, and other miscellanea regarding the school and their state of origin are fair game . Please understand that I am only kidding... really. Unless you're reading the feature right before we play Florida or Auburn, its totally in jest.
Ole Miss is up next on the schedule which leaves me sort of conflicted. On the one hand, they have much in common with the University of Georgia. A bevy of both beautiful and buxom coeds, a penchant for doing a little drankin' on Saturday mornings in the fall, and a gorgeous campus all come to mind. On the other, they are the enemy and must be destroyed.
So hit the jump while I drop a little knowledge on ya....
1) Ole Miss Might Be Able To Teach Georgia A Thing Or Two
As Georgia fans we've become awfully mired in the Mark Richt "should he stay or should he go now" conversation over the last few years. I don't know if Ole Miss can teach us anything on the football field this weekend, but they can teach us something about handling coaching changes. See, back when Mark Richt was still winning championships, Ole Miss was led by David Cutcliffe. Cutcliffe took over after a period of consistently poor and/or inconsistently good performances by the Rebels. Cutcliffe wasn't setting the world on fire, but he was the only coach over the last 20 years who consistently had winning seasons at Ole Miss. In 2004, after his first losing season (and 3rd straight loss to LSU), Cutcliffe was resistant to the idea of mixing things up on his staff (any of this starting to sound familiar?) and was fired.
My point is this, depending on your perspective it may or may not be time for Georgia to part ways with Mark Richt. But when/if you're making your wish list of coaches, I would just ask that you bear in mind:
Sometimes you get Nick Saban, sometimes you get a guy from Iowa State and a backpack full of money, and sometimes you get these guys:
2) FILTHY COMMIES!
Ole Miss is in the enviable position (depending on your perspective) of having Vanderbilt as their permanent Eastern Division opponent. What a great opportunity to pick up an easy win each year.
Except that Ole Miss lost to Vandy last week 30-7. That's ok Ole Miss, I haven't forgotten 2006. I know what its like to lose a game you should have won. Everybody screws up every now and then.
Oh.... what's that you say? You've lost to Vandy 5 times in the last 7 years? And Houston Nutt has a .250 winning percentage against them as your head coach?
3) Ole Miss Has A Veritable Who's Who of Notable Attendees and Alumni
We're all aware of many of the well known figures who have attended or graduated from Ole Miss: William Faulkner, John Grisham, most of the Mannings, and that kid Sandra Bullock adopted.
But I think we need to take a moment to recognize the most famous and historically important of all the Ole Miss alumni:
Miss Suzanne Sugarbaker Goff Dent Stonecipher !
The beauty queen and designer (?) may have been from Georgia, but Ole MIss is where she matriculated. Having seen the get-ups on some of the ladies in The Grove, I can only assume that's also where she developed her "unique" sense of fashion.
4) Mississippi Politicians Can Really Bring The Crazy
Each week, I scour the interwebs for examples of the craziest politician from the home state of our upcoming opponent. It is my hope that I can one day find the craziest politician in America.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I think we may have a contender! We may have found someone who can challenge Cynthia McKinney and Corinne Brown for sheer balls to the wall craziness. In July 2009, Alderwoman Mala Brooks of Leland, MS was dragged kicking and screaming from a Board of Aldermen meeting. But there's more. Brooks and her mother (the Mayor of Leland) had written checks totaling $12,000 illegitimately and without the Board's approval -- They went on an unapproved trip to a casino. At the meeting, Brooks became belligerent and continued insisting that she had done nothing wrong. After telling her that she would have to leave if she didn't stop interrupting, the Board finally asked for Ms. Brooks to be escorted from the meeting. Brooks then proceeded to crawl under the table and throw a massive hissy fit, weeping and yelling ""Y'all are doing me wrong. I haven't done nothing wrong. I'm not going anywhere." This continued for quite some time. (h/t WAPT.com).
Now at first I didn't know whether to find this funny or sad. Here's this woman freaking out and then video of it gets posted on the internet. Then I found out that the reason the video is in circulation is that Brooks herself went to city hall the next day, took the recording of the meeting, made copies, and started handing it out .
In recognition of her obvious passion about the issues being discussed at the board meeting and her commitment to unorthodox behavior, I must salute Ms. Brooks.
5) Let's Talk For A Minute About That Mascot
So let me get this straight. Rebel Black Bear. Is the Black Bear named Rebel? Is he rebelling against the other Black Bears? Is there some sort of Black Bear Rebellion on the horizon?
I don't get the bear thing. Or rather I don't get trying to be Rebels and Black Bears at the same time.
I personally didn't have a problem with Colonel Reb but I guess I can understand the argument.
So fine, Rebel Black Bears. Ok. I guess I can get used to it. But does he have to look like such a douchebag?
One thing I think we can all agree on: If Colonel Reb, the Rebel Black Bear, Ed Orgeron, and Houston Nutt all got together for a little weekend shindig, we know what would end up happening to our furry friend:
Alright Dawg fans, you now know everything you need to regarding our opponent this weekend. Please feel free to use the comment thread to throw around some good-natured jabs of your own. Ole Miss fans, feel free to throw some barbs our way too. We may very well have a lot to commiserate about as the season goes on so we should go ahead and get comfortable around one another. Looking forward to a great game on Saturday.