Toast When We Coast & Drink When We Stink: Week 3

For those of us who choose to imbibe, spirits can be a great companion for celebrating a victory and a helpful tool for surviving a loss. As I do every week, I present you with an option for each as the Georgia Bulldogs prepare to take on the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers.

When Georgia Wins:

Coastal Carolina Coach David Bennett NEEDS MORE DAWGS!. I suggest we give him more Dawgs. In the (hopefully) likely event that we give him more Dawgs than he knows what to do with, treat yourself to a heaping helping of...

CAUCASIANS!

Nothing goes better with a big ol' cupcake than a tasty glass of milk. Nom nom nom. And the only thing that could make a big glass of milk any better is a hefty amount of vodka and kahlua. It does a body good.

I can tell you right now, if I don't get a chance to toss one of these back on Saturday then you can bet by Sunday I'll believe in nossing.... NOSSING!!!

Where You Can Get Your Hands On It: Just look for your friend and mine: Jeff Lebowski. No... the other Jeff Lebowski. The Dude actually. Or his Dudeness, or Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

When Georgia Loses:

God, I hope it doesn't come to this!

Given how crippling a loss to Coastal Carolina might be, this one's gonna require a little planning on your part.

If it turns out we have to find a way to commemorate the worst Georgia loss of our lifetime, I suggest we revisit the worst decision of my lifetime:

THE TERRANCE AND PHlLLIP SPECIAL

Note: When my wife and I were much younger (and much more ridiculous) we actually did this with my roommate and his girlfriend. I make no guarantees about The Terrance and Phillip Special except for the following: It is an absolutely terrible idea.

What You'll Need:

  • 1 Large Bottle of Liquor per person (It doesn't matter what kind - just make sure its 80 proof and that its something you like, cause you'll be drinking a lot)
  • 1 copy of South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut
  • 3 friends or family members
  • A Stopwatch

How To Play:

Gather your 3 fellow adventurers around your TV (on the floor is best - so no one falls). Each person should have their own bottle open and ready to go. As soon as "the football game of which we shall never speak again" is over, put on your copy of South Park: BL&U. You are about to play the simplest and most deadly drinking game ever devised. As the movie begins, the person farthest to the left must drink any time the F-bomb is dropped. This continues for 3 minutes (Stopwatch!) at which point the first person's turn is over and the person to their right is "on the clock". Play proceeds around the group until no one remains awake and/or conscious.

I can't vouch for the safety of this challenge. In fact, I can assure you that it isn't safe. However, I can also assure you that by the time you're done, Georgia's performance in Saturday's game will be the last thing on your mind.

  • **BONUS CHALLENGE: If you make it past the La Resistance/Punch & Pie Scene (which is where I tapped out), I'll buy you a food item or beverage of your choice at the Goat Roast. But you best have sober witnesses to vouch for you (or on second thought, a timestamped photo collage might be fun).

Where You Can Get Your Hands On It: Your worst nightmares.

So drink up Dawg fans!

Feel free to use the comments to share any other movie-based drinking shenanigans, how you're coping with the season, how you plan to celebrate, and/or how you plan to drown your sorrows should we struggle with a team that recently eeked out a win against Furman.

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