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Slow News Day Tuesday: The Legal Edition

Slow News Day Tuesday is upon us once more, as it will be until college football season begins or something bad happens, and today we will be looking at new laws based on college football. I am a big believer in the connection between sports and self-government, so what I propose to do this week is discuss changes to the law inspired by intercollegiate athletics. Here, for example, is my proposal:

Two cars arrive at an intersection more or less simultaneously. Both cars display clearly visible team-specific tags, decals, or other indicia of rooting interests. Each driver is able to see that the other driver is a fan of a rival school.

Under such circumstances, I propose that the rules of the road be changed to award the right of way to the driver whose team won the most recent previous gridiron meeting. Thus, as a fan of the Georgia Bulldogs whose loyalty is displayed on his vehicle, I would take the right of way when encountering a fan of the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, but I would yield the right of way when crossing paths with a fan of the Florida Gators.

I freely admit that one potential problem with this approach would be the possibility of an asterisk-shaped collision at mid-intersection with a fan of the Auburn Tigers, but, hey, even changes for the better entail unavoidable side effects.

What college sports-inspired changes to the Georgia Code would you like to see implemented? Let us know in the comments below.

Go ‘Dawgs!

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Comments

Display:

I'd like to see a play clock at every traffic intersection.

If the jerk person in front of me can’t move his sorry tail begin his movement through the intersection within 4 seconds of obtaining the right-of-way, then he is hit with a penalty and must get behind me.

by vineyarddawg on Aug 9, 2011 12:13 AM EDT reply actions   1 recs

While I find this to be an admirable concept...

I feel great concern for the fine alumni of Vanderbilt who will be unable to practice law or medicine whilst sitting at intersections indefinitely.

"If there's one thing worse than chlamydia, it's Florida." ~ Emma Stone

by RedCrake on Aug 9, 2011 12:22 AM EDT via mobile reply actions  

You know what? Screw Vanderbilt!

Maybe sitting at intersections all day long will give them time to think about the appropriate circumstances under which to call a rain delay!

Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Aug 9, 2011 8:00 AM EDT up reply actions  

Prepare for the onslaught of angry Vanderbilt fans!

Wait…. does Vanderbilt have fans? Real ones?

"If there's one thing worse than chlamydia, it's Florida." ~ Emma Stone

by RedCrake on Aug 9, 2011 8:38 AM EDT up reply actions  

No Sir

they merely have cardboard cutouts that resemble real fans.

I can bake like a demon.

by podunkdawg on Aug 9, 2011 11:00 PM EDT up reply actions  

I think the fact

That Georgia State fans seized on a stray barb thrown their way within an hour and my Vandy comment has been up all day without a single retort sort of says it all.

"If there's one thing worse than chlamydia, it's Florida." ~ Emma Stone

by RedCrake on Aug 9, 2011 11:30 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions   1 recs

i think for this to really work

Auburn fans should just get to do drunken donuts in everyone else’s front lawns until we’re dragged off by the cops at 4 in the morning.

by flemico on Aug 9, 2011 2:44 PM EDT via mobile reply actions  

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