Because a links posting never gets me into trouble---boy, I say, boy, that’s a joke, son!---I’m going to give you your Saturday summary, bullet-point style, to get you up to speed. This is going to be a pretty rapid rundown, but be forewarned that I still may have had time to work in some jokes among the following items:
- The Peach State is home to many fine universities, all of which offer an exemplary education at a reasonable cost, and several of which field college football teams for which any sports fan would be proud to cheer. One such institution is the University of Georgia, located in Athens, home to the Georgia Bulldogs, of whom you might have heard. It appears a young man from Baltimore named Greg Pyke has committed to play football for the aforementioned Bulldogs as an offensive lineman. This is a quality pickup at a position of need, but, unfortunately, it wrecked my attempt to type a dadgum bullet point without writing anything offensive, because, well, I had to type the word "offensive."
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’re getting snubbed in favor of the LSU Tigers’ date with the Oregon Ducks, no big whoop . . . but David Pollack will be appearing on-air with Erin Andrews! That, my friends, is as watchable as television gets, but, given Pollack’s prior experience with guhhuh-hot blonde sideline reporters, I can only hope Andrews doesn’t refer to No. 47 using an ethnic slur.
- Is it just me, or, when you heard about Vince Dooley’s ill-fated recruitment of Deion Sanders, did you picture them played by Tony Randall and Jack Klugman, respectively? (Klugman, by the way, later played Quincy, which, coincidentally, was the first name of another future Dallas Cowboy whose experience in Athens was as big a disaster as Prime Time’s would’ve been. I know Neon Deion was a little after Erk’s time in Athens, but could you imagine Sanders playing for Coach Russell? The dude would’ve used a juke move to avoid getting head-butted by Erk.)
- For those of you who like your bad news leavened with some good news, here you go: Kent Turene is "doubtful" to qualify for admission this fall, but Kirk Olivadotti’s daughter is home from the hospital. Four-year-old Kasyn Olivadotti has been diagnosed with leukemia, and she is undergoing chemotherapy, so please keep Coach Olivadotti’s entire family in your thoughts and prayers.
- At this point, are you tempted to type "TL;DR" in the comments and be done with this posting? Fine, don’t read; listen! Here’s Mark Richt, and here’s the Boise St. Broncos’ Chris Petersen.
I hope you have found this posting informative, entertaining, and inoffensive in every way, shape, form, fashion, and manner. We thank you for your patronage, and we hope you will visit Dawg Sports again very soon. In conclusion, I would like to note that Notre Dame’s hockey team is way lame, unless, of course, Notre Dame doesn’t have a hockey team, in which case, forget I said anything.
Which group do you believe will be the next group Kyle offends, after he gets done offending Notre Dame hockey fans?
Advocates of the new punctuation convention known as "the Cambridge hyphen." (5 votes)
Women with reddish-brown locks who don't understand Kyle's visceral contempt for their hair color. (1 vote)
Every poster on every message board for every team other than the Georgia Bulldogs. (15 votes)
Every student and alum of every university, college, or trade school other than the University of Georgia. (8 votes)
The entire human race, or whatever is left of it after "Rise of the Planet of the Apes." (3 votes)
People who enjoyed the movie "Rudy" and lack the wherewithal to be ashamed of that fact. (9 votes)
People who say "dove" instead of "dived." (5 votes)
I'd tell you, but I'm too offended to articulate a coherent thought. (7 votes)
I abstain, because I found this site through a link on a message board, where I was told to be offended by something I never actually read. (4 votes)
Himself. (4 votes)
61 total votes