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Late Night Dawg Bites: Anger Management Edition

Because a links posting never gets me into trouble---boy, I say, boy, that’s a joke, son!---I’m going to give you your Saturday summary, bullet-point style, to get you up to speed. This is going to be a pretty rapid rundown, but be forewarned that I still may have had time to work in some jokes among the following items:

  • The Peach State is home to many fine universities, all of which offer an exemplary education at a reasonable cost, and several of which field college football teams for which any sports fan would be proud to cheer. One such institution is the University of Georgia, located in Athens, home to the Georgia Bulldogs, of whom you might have heard. It appears a young man from Baltimore named Greg Pyke has committed to play football for the aforementioned Bulldogs as an offensive lineman. This is a quality pickup at a position of need, but, unfortunately, it wrecked my attempt to type a dadgum bullet point without writing anything offensive, because, well, I had to type the word "offensive."
  • Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’re getting snubbed in favor of the LSU Tigers’ date with the Oregon Ducks, no big whoop . . . but David Pollack will be appearing on-air with Erin Andrews! That, my friends, is as watchable as television gets, but, given Pollack’s prior experience with guhhuh-hot blonde sideline reporters, I can only hope Andrews doesn’t refer to No. 47 using an ethnic slur.
  • Is it just me, or, when you heard about Vince Dooley’s ill-fated recruitment of Deion Sanders, did you picture them played by Tony Randall and Jack Klugman, respectively? (Klugman, by the way, later played Quincy, which, coincidentally, was the first name of another future Dallas Cowboy whose experience in Athens was as big a disaster as Prime Time’s would’ve been. I know Neon Deion was a little after Erk’s time in Athens, but could you imagine Sanders playing for Coach Russell? The dude would’ve used a juke move to avoid getting head-butted by Erk.)
  • For those of you who like your bad news leavened with some good news, here you go: Kent Turene is "doubtful" to qualify for admission this fall, but Kirk Olivadotti’s daughter is home from the hospital. Four-year-old Kasyn Olivadotti has been diagnosed with leukemia, and she is undergoing chemotherapy, so please keep Coach Olivadotti’s entire family in your thoughts and prayers.
  • At this point, are you tempted to type "TL;DR" in the comments and be done with this posting? Fine, don’t read; listen! Here’s Mark Richt, and here’s the Boise St. BroncosChris Petersen.

I hope you have found this posting informative, entertaining, and inoffensive in every way, shape, form, fashion, and manner. We thank you for your patronage, and we hope you will visit Dawg Sports again very soon. In conclusion, I would like to note that Notre Dame’s hockey team is way lame, unless, of course, Notre Dame doesn’t have a hockey team, in which case, forget I said anything.

Go ‘Dawgs!

Poll
Which group do you believe will be the next group Kyle offends, after he gets done offending Notre Dame hockey fans?
Advocates of the new punctuation convention known as "the Cambridge hyphen."
5 votes
Women with reddish-brown locks who don't understand Kyle's visceral contempt for their hair color.
1 votes
Every poster on every message board for every team other than the Georgia Bulldogs.
15 votes
Every student and alum of every university, college, or trade school other than the University of Georgia.
8 votes
The entire human race, or whatever is left of it after "Rise of the Planet of the Apes."
3 votes
People who enjoyed the movie "Rudy" and lack the wherewithal to be ashamed of that fact.
9 votes
People who say "dove" instead of "dived."
5 votes
I'd tell you, but I'm too offended to articulate a coherent thought.
7 votes
I abstain, because I found this site through a link on a message board, where I was told to be offended by something I never actually read.
4 votes
Himself.
4 votes

61 votes | Poll has closed

Comment 17 comments  |  0 recs  | 

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My bad; I forgot to add a "none of the above" option.

Also, I neglected to include “dyslexic communists who believe Marx called upon the workers of the world to untie.”

Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Aug 6, 2011 12:19 AM EDT reply actions  

I just googled Notre Dame hockey

I know they have a team. I was just trying to see if I can get more. I think they’re historically quite good and might have been in the Frozen Four last year.

That said, when I googled Notre Dame hockey, one of the first links under “News for notre dame hockey” was this very post. So if there are any Frozen Irish fans out there looking for news on ice-scouting reports, they’ll come here. And will be mad.

The 984 Has Spoken!

by The984 on Aug 6, 2011 12:23 AM EDT reply actions  

Oh, good.

It looks like tankertoad may get his wish!

Notre Dame message board “Did you read this garbage?” link in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .

Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Aug 6, 2011 12:43 AM EDT up reply actions  

CRY HAVOC AND LET SLIP THE DAWGS OF WAR!

Sorry…couldn’t resist.

Success is never final. --Winston Churchill

by Inteljumper on Aug 6, 2011 2:52 AM EDT reply actions  

Ahem...

Success is never final. --Winston Churchill

by Inteljumper on Aug 6, 2011 2:53 AM EDT up reply actions  

Oh Gawd, Andy Bailey

/hsssssssss

The 984 Has Spoken!

by The984 on Aug 6, 2011 2:55 AM EDT up reply actions  

"One thing I will never do as long as I’m at Georgia is lose to Florida." - Herschel Walker

by tankertoad on Aug 6, 2011 6:10 AM EDT up reply actions  

(For the non-soccer folk, this is German goalkeeper Oliver Kahn.)

by vineyarddawg on Aug 6, 2011 7:27 AM EDT up reply actions  

Success is never final. --Winston Churchill

by Inteljumper on Aug 6, 2011 8:44 AM EDT up reply actions  

Well, reply FAIL! Ugh...

Success is never final. --Winston Churchill

by Inteljumper on Aug 6, 2011 8:44 AM EDT up reply actions  

Yea verily

Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the Dawgs of war; - Julius Caesar, Act III, Scene 1

by Vietnam Dog on Aug 6, 2011 12:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

Random or not

Notre Dame (I do not like the Fighting Irish in any way) actually had one helluva hackey team last year making it to the semis of the frozen four.

2010-2011 SCHEDULE
Overall
25-14-5
Conf.
18-7-3
Home
13-4-2
Away
9-5-2
Neutral
3-5-1

In case you want to fact check

2 years to the Cup

by Caniac233 on Aug 6, 2011 6:39 PM EDT reply actions  

hackey vs hockey

I am sure that will get some jeers in the South….from a Ga raise hockey playing, hockey loving, Dawg fanatic.

2 years to the Cup

by Caniac233 on Aug 6, 2011 6:40 PM EDT up reply actions  

What, you expect me to defer to inconsequential little things like facts . . .

. . . when I’m going out of my way to tick people off? You’re no fun!

All right, if you’re going to make me work at it, I’ll give it my best shot: Notre Dame went 25-14-5 overall and 18-7-3 in conference play? That means the Irish went 7-7-2 in non-conference play. Weak! Plus, Notre Dame is an independent in football and a basketball member of the Big East, so who knows what conference they play in for hockey; it could be the Sun Belt, for all any of us will ever know.

Yeah, that’s all I’ve got. As I say, I’m just randomly trying to tick people off at this point, and Notre Dame hockey happened to be next on the list of victims. [Notre Dame fan outrage commences now.]

Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Aug 6, 2011 7:35 PM EDT up reply actions  

Notre Dame

I cannot read nor hear those two words and not think of the banner hanging on the facade of the upper deck in the Louisiana Superdome on January 1, 1981.

It simply said, “You’ve got the Hunchback. We’ve got the Tailback.”

Brilliant.

"If we score, we may win. If they never score, we'll never lose."
-Erk Russell

by DavetheDawg on Aug 6, 2011 7:50 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

This logic is simple to follow.

Notre Dame sucks.
Notre Dame Hockey is an extension of Notre Dame.

Therefore, Notre Dame Hockey sucks.

/pigeonpopcorn.jpg

by vineyarddawg on Aug 6, 2011 8:32 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

good point…I must agree with that logic!

2 years to the Cup

by Caniac233 on Aug 8, 2011 6:59 AM EDT up reply actions  

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