Slow News Day Tuesday: The Major League Baseball Edition
Welcome to the second edition of Slow News Day Tuesday, the counterpart to Free Form Friday that attempts to address offseason boredom in the interminable final month before kickoff. As always, this feature will be discontinued immediately upon (a) the occurrence or reporting of the inevitable offseason disaster on a Tuesday, or (b) the start of college football season. Please let it be (b), please let it be (b). . . .
Although I thought about asking whether you’d allow yourself to be strip-searched for a Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich and a ticket to a college football game, here is the scenario instead: you’re about to take an at-bat in a major league baseball game. It can be for any team you like, in any situation you prefer, but you’re playing at home. Your name is called over the public address system, and you begin walking from the on-deck circle to the batter’s box as the crowd cheers.
What’s your walk-up music?
For me, the choice is easy: Warren Zevon’s "Lawyers, Guns, and Money." What song would you choose, and why? Let us know in the comments below.
Go ‘Dawgs!
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"Walk this way"
becauseI that’s the best I could hope for based on my lifetime Little League stats.
"If we score, we may win. If they never score, we'll never lose."
-Erk Russell
by DavetheDawg on Aug 2, 2011 7:25 AM EDT via mobile reply actions
"Another one bite's the dust"
Because, like DTD, I sucked at hitting.
Success is never final. --Winston Churchill
Wow, that article didn't go the direction I anticipated at all.
When I read the title, I anticipated something along the lines of, “If there’s one thing in America slower than Slow News Day Tuesday, it’s Major League Baseball.”
I guess I had to make the comment myself, though. :-)
How long does it take to get from the on-deck circle to the batters box… 10 seconds? Not very long to make a real statement. I’d have to go the professional wrestling route and choose Stone Cold Steve Austin’s music.
always thought it was overrated
give me DX any day of the week.
ARE YOU READY???
"Kickboxing is great. It combines the style and grace of boxing with... kicking." -- Norm MacDonald
Send Lawyers, Guns and Money the sh*t has hit the fan....
What is the offseason in Auburn, Alabama Alex?
I guess in all fairness a few lawyers have been sent our way from time to time….
In all seriousness that’s a great song and I’m glad you brought it up. When I was a youngster Excitable Boy was one of Dad’s favorite albums and LGM is one of my earliest memories of music. I remember when we would listen to the tape in the van on a road trip and my mom would always urgently strike up a loud conversation when Excitable Boy (the song) came on. Only years later would I realize why. I hadn’t thought about that in a long time.
I think I would go with Do You Know What I Mean by Oasis – starting at some point in the middle cause if you started at the beginning you would have to take three minutes to walk to the batters box to establish your coolness.
Broadcasting live from a secure location underneath the Hell Gate Bridge
by The Quincy Carter of Accountants on Aug 2, 2011 8:45 AM EDT reply actions
I have actually given the question some thought over the years
… and discussed it with my older son.
either:
- God of Thunder (KISS) or
- Shock Me (KISS) or
- Shook Me All Night Long (AC/DC)
by Blogger who came in from the cold on Aug 2, 2011 9:00 AM EDT reply actions
Something by Slim Whitman
I mean, I’m only going to get one shot at this, and after the pitcher gets cracked up listening to Slim’s falsetto, there’s no way that first pitch is going to have anything on it.
by College Buddy on Aug 2, 2011 9:32 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
How was I to know, she was with the Russians too...
I’m gonna have to go with Kashmir by Led Zeppelin.
"Man, is there gonna be some property destroyed tonight." - Larry Munson
Randy "The Natural" Couture's walkout song
classic
"Kickboxing is great. It combines the style and grace of boxing with... kicking." -- Norm MacDonald
That's the second mention of Lawyers, Guns, and Money...
that I’ve seen this morning alone (the other was in a friend’s facebook status). Funny how things like that happen.
Due to the fact that your walkout music only gives you a few seconds of song time, I think I’d have to go with something humorous that doesn’t belong, like Beautiful by Gordon Lightfoot.
I'm gonna have to go with . . .
the chorus of Gravity’s Gone by the DBT’s. Because the hanging curve is a lot like the bottom: they always say that when you hit it you’ll know it. Also because it might be nice as a professional baseball player to be reminded of the dangers of loose women and cocaine. Kind of a PSA to myself 4 times per game.
Gotta watch out for those loose women.
by hailtogeorgia on Aug 2, 2011 10:42 AM EDT up reply actions
Absolutely.
There aren’t nearly as many loose women hanging around baseball stadia as there are around football venues, so you really gotta keep your eyes peeled for ‘em. I’m sure you can still find some, though.
(Wait… that’s what you meant, right?)
by vineyarddawg on Aug 2, 2011 10:55 AM EDT up reply actions
Great topic
always liked the intro to Bowie’s “Ziggy Stardust”
Dawg fan by birth,
no longer in Beaumont by the grace of God.
by Dawg in Beaumont on Aug 2, 2011 11:17 AM EDT reply actions
DBT tunes are also acceptable...
I think “Never Gonna Change” is the way to go here. Or “Where The Devil Don’t Stay.”
For what it's worth, . . .
. . . when my son was an infant, I used “Simple Man” as a lullaby.
Go 'Dawgs!
I've planned on using
“Waste” by Phish.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CY-xoZzg9Bc
http://sportsandgrits.blogspot.com/
I've actually heard that used as a first dance at a wedding.
Damned hippies.
by hailtogeorgia on Aug 2, 2011 1:21 PM EDT up reply actions
Beats the hell out of . . .
Dancing Around the Room both because a) hello, zero subtlety whatsoever and b) the song for your first dance shouldn’t give your guests seizures.
"bouncin round the room"
for accuracy’s sake, unless you are referring to a different song or a different band.
http://sportsandgrits.blogspot.com/
My mother used to correct the grammer of people working a McDonald's Drive-thru
so at least I get it honestly. It took my sister and I refusing to eat any of the food after she’d do that to make her stop.
http://sportsandgrits.blogspot.com/
Meanwhile
I think the correct spelling is “grammar”. Also, I’m pretty sure I’d have rewritten the hell out of that second sentence, since technically, I think it would need to be “It too my sister’s and my refusing to eat …” (or, perhaps, “refusal” — or would it be “refusals”?) which looks and sounds awkward. Instead, I might have gone with “She wouldn’t stop until after my sister and I refused to eat …”
Sincerely,
Six-Time Winner, That Guy of the Year (and finalist for 20 of the last 27)
by NCT on Aug 2, 2011 3:28 PM EDT up reply actions
This place is a congregation of "That Guy"s.
http://sportsandgrits.blogspot.com/
by Mr. Sanchez on Aug 2, 2011 3:32 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
*pushes up spectacles, clears throat*
I believe the proper term for a group of that guys is “a crapload of that guys.” Also kudos to you for realizing at a young age that correcting those who prepare your food is not a wise idea.
/Resists the urge to ask whether, when more than one smartass populates the blog, it should be considered a congregation of “those” guys.
Variations are acceptable, I reckon.
I think one also could go with “Oh. Them.” (with sufficient pause between the words — subtle eye-roll optional).
by NCT on Aug 2, 2011 4:01 PM EDT up reply actions
the worst is "Freebird" at a funeral
it gets ::awkward:: by the time the guitar solo hits full stride
"Kickboxing is great. It combines the style and grace of boxing with... kicking." -- Norm MacDonald
by Anthony Pace on Aug 2, 2011 5:33 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I have left orders that, at my funeral, . . .
. . . the Redcoat Band arrangement of “Glory, Glory to Ol’ Georgia” segueing into “Ode to Joy” (first heard, if I am not mistaken, at the end of the 2000 Outback Bowl) is to be played.
Go 'Dawgs!
I think I want them to play something really incongruous at my funeral
A real head-scratcher that people who really knew me will get a kick out of, like “Come On Eileen” by Dexy’s Midnight Runners or something.
"Kickboxing is great. It combines the style and grace of boxing with... kicking." -- Norm MacDonald
Nice.
going back to the DBTs, I used “Outfit” as my little boy’s lullaby. Still soothes him down when he’s cranky now that he’s a toddler.
I plan on using that some as well...
my boy is gonna have a well rounded musical background like any son of an Athens native should.
http://sportsandgrits.blogspot.com/
"Begin the Begin"
The Little Black Sambo reference might offend the politically correct (on the other hand, there’s butter), but the intro kicks ass.
Of course, a solid Fitzgerald rendition of Porter’s “Begin the Beguine” might suit my personality better, even though I think I could manage not to mince like Astaire to first if I were lucky enough to get a hit.
by NCT on Aug 2, 2011 11:50 AM EDT via mobile reply actions
Yeah
I’m gonna have to go ahead and go with Fly Me Courageous.
"If there's one thing worse than chlamydia, it's Florida." ~ Emma Stone
by RedCrake on Aug 2, 2011 12:10 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Truly if you went with the signature guitar riff . . .
from Honeysuckle Blue, I don’t think you could be criticized for it.
(almost) inexplicably ...
Over the last 20 or so years, at a rate of about 2.1 times per year on average, I will erupt with a very loud “WOO LADY WON’T YOU TAKE IT EASY” at moments that I am unable to describe as anything but random.
I say “(almost)” inexplicably, because honestly, that line begs to be screamed spontaneously, doesn’t it?
by NCT on Aug 2, 2011 1:31 PM EDT up reply actions
Or Sunday Morning Coming Down?
(depending on the nature of the Saturday night)
by NCT on Aug 2, 2011 1:33 PM EDT up reply actions
Walking on Sunshine maybe,
even though I have been told that song sucks wet noodles.
http://sportsandgrits.blogspot.com/
by Mr. Sanchez on Aug 2, 2011 1:37 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I feel obliged to share a story here:
In the summer of 2002, a friend of mine from college was preparing to leave for graduate school in New York. In commemoration of her departure, we rented a house on the lake at Reynolds Plantation for the weekend and had a party. Among those in attendance was Spears, of “I, for one, welcome our new Bronco overlords” fame. (As an aside, this party gave rise to my best party story, the title of which is, “Did you puke on my ass?” I won’t share the story here, but I’ll be happy to tell it at this year’s Goat Roast, if folks are interested.)
Needless to say, there was a fair amount of drinking going on on Friday and Saturday nights, and, on Sunday morning, Spears woke up first, went into the living room, opened the front door, put on Crooked Fingers’ “Reservoir Songs” (which had been released earlier that year), and went back to bed. In my room, on the other side of the house, I heard the music, went out into the living room hung over, and saw an empty room as bright sunlight streamed through the open door; it looked like an early ’80s MTV video. It was a moment dripping with profundity, and it sticks with me as a clear defining break point between my youth and my adulthood. (The following week, my wife and I learned we were expecting our first child.)
The song Spears played that hung over Sunday morning was “Sunday Morning Coming Down.”
Go 'Dawgs!
Excellent.
And, of course, any story titled “Did you puke on my ass?” must be heard at some point.
I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about naming party stories. But off the top of my head, I think the bound volume’s table of contents would include things like “In Case There Are Goats”, “Shut up, Bitch: You’ve Got Food”, “Gummi Bear Nipples”, and “I Ain’t Out To F*** Ya” (the last of which is more of a hangover tale set somewhere just outside Vidalia one post-WLOCP Sunday).
by NCT on Aug 2, 2011 3:40 PM EDT up reply actions
Is that last one the car breakdown story?
Because I think you may have told that one on here before, and I hope you’ll tell it again.
Some of my more family friendly ones would include “The Pi Kapp pledge who went through the window”, “What profit a crackhead who tries to sell his crackpipe for beer?” and my personal favorite “What do you mean ‘is kerosene flammable?’”
It was a flat tire, but yes.
I honestly don’t remember putting the story down on paper (so to speak write), but obviously I did. I really am fond of that story, though. The fact that the weekend also involved a 23-10 victory doesn’t hurt.
Hilarious. I just found it by entering “Vidalia Lady” in my user activity search field.
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2010/10/29/1781952/aggro-tourism-wlocp#50626144
Kind of funny how my language differs from one blog to another. That is, I am not so shy with the F word on EDSBS.
by NCT on Aug 2, 2011 4:34 PM EDT up reply actions
Or, apparently, . . .
. . . at tailgates when the topic of conversation is how I allowed my grandmother’s 75th birthday celebration to prevent me from attending the 1993 Georgia-Arkansas game! :)
There will have to be a portion of this year’s Goat Roast devoted to telling party stories. This is just a hunch, but I’m guessing this group has a few.
Go 'Dawgs!
All of which is to say
My language readily and smoothly adapts to the occasion. I stand by the appropriateness of my choice in phrasing.
by NCT on Aug 2, 2011 8:02 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I'm certainly down for telling party stories...
I have a few. The most absurd of those, however (which involves me, a girl, a portalet, and an old woman), has already been recounted in last year’s aggro-tourism WLOCP post at EDSBS.
by hailtogeorgia on Aug 2, 2011 10:10 PM EDT up reply actions
James Brown - Sex Machine.
"One thing I will never do as long as I’m at Georgia is lose to Florida." - Herschel Walker
by tankertoad on Aug 2, 2011 12:45 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
only two people have soul...
"One thing I will never do as long as I’m at Georgia is lose to Florida." - Herschel Walker
I dont think folks are thinking it through enough - you don't play your favorite song.
You are creating a fan moment…..slowly walking from the dug out with a strut speakers pumping “Get on up!” fans start standing and dancing….maybe bust a little dance move right as you step into the batters box…..“like a sex machine”. That would be bad ass.
"One thing I will never do as long as I’m at Georgia is lose to Florida." - Herschel Walker
Unoriginal, but still ones I really liked...
Gordon Beckham used “Your Love” by the Outfield. It’s a good choice, and the band name kind of caps it off as strong walk-up song.
Justin Smoak, formerly of South Carolina and now with the Mariners, used “Thank God I’m a Country Boy” by John Denver. For a southerner, the song has obvious appeal, and the easily clapped intro gets the crowd into things pretty well and is a nice pick me up for energy inside the stadium. Another very solid choice if I’ve ever heard one.
And since we’re on the subject and I assume most of us around here follow the Braves, I wanted to make note of the Braves organist who does some pretty funny stuff with opposing batters, and tends to make excellent selections on their walk-up songs.
http://sportsandgrits.blogspot.com/
I had to sign up for an account...
…just so I could state that my walk-in music would be the guitar riff from DBT’s “Sinkhole”. And if they had enough time to include a line of “bury his body in the old sinkhole” it would be cool, too.
An excellent choice. Will now be shuffling to it on iTunes.
And an excellent screen name. Welcome aboard!
Good choice
I’m headed to DBT’s show to at the newly reopened Georgia Theatre in a few weeks. Pumped as hell about it.
Dawg fan by birth,
no longer in Beaumont by the grace of God.
by Dawg in Beaumont on Aug 2, 2011 2:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Congratulations on getting tickets.
I made note of the event when it was announced, then flat out forgot to get tickets. My shame is palpable.
Color me jealous also.
I live in South Mississippi, and they’re coming to NOLA on September 3 and 4, but I’ll be in Colorado that weekend. I’d give up the Oxford comma to see them play in Athens again.
by TreeDawgNight on Aug 2, 2011 2:30 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'm Alright, Kenny Loggins
That’s always been mine.
I've thought about this in terms of being a pro boxer/MMA fighter, as well as my "stepping up to the plate" song
and it always winds up being “Can’t Stop” by the RHCP. The intro to the song is just perfect.
"Kickboxing is great. It combines the style and grace of boxing with... kicking." -- Norm MacDonald
I'm sucker for a riff, so it would be Metallica's cover
of Budgie’s “Breadfan”. At least I think it was Budgie. Anywhoo, I love that chainsaw guitar riff.
Pantera - Walk
Cuz I would need one to get on base.
If it could be cleaned up enough, I have always thought Bone “Shotz to tha Double Glock” would be perfect for a closer.
And I’d take a good 2-3 minutes to walk from the bullpen to the mound.
"Be polite to everyone you meet, but be prepared to kill anyone"-tc16cav
by otisnixon'sparty on Aug 3, 2011 5:26 AM EDT reply actions

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