"Here Comes Herschel! Here Comes Herschel!": How the Georgia Bulldogs' Tailback Quandary Will be Solved

It’s hotter than 700 Hells out there, yet still there is a touch of fall in the air. My football parking pass arrived yesterday, and I today received my Bulldog Club lapel pin and refrigerator schedule magnet. You can feel it, can’t you?

If you can, you’re probably looking for some good news, and, if you’re willing to stretch your imagination a little---all right, a lot, but not any more than you would to consider, say, sacrificing a goat mascot or removing a month from the calendar---the signs are there. Consider the following:

• Earlier this week, The Blogger Who Came In From the Cold began the campaign. He also e-mailed me that his copy of the Maple Street Press annual was on its way to the counter by his commode so he could read it, and he sent me this picture of his copy of it, so he’s pretty much getting every benefit of the doubt I can throw his way:
  
  
  
  TBWCIFTC’s plan was a simple one: Herschel Walker left the University of Georgia after his junior season. He has an unused year of eligibility just sitting there. The NCAA owes us a solid. How ‘bout we ask really nicely if we can take No. 34 off the shelf for one more autumn?
• Prominent political blogger Jason Pye jumped aboard the bandwagon just as renewed Herschelmania prompted not one, but two recent fanshots here concerning the Goal Line Stalker.
• Around the same time, Gary Stokan said Walker will be in the Georgia Dome for the Chick-fil-A Kickoff Classic against the Boise St. Broncos. Coincidence? I think not!
• This, though, is the kicker: Mark Richt recently said, "I'm gonna feel better about the way the running backs played this year than they did last year." As we all know, the Georgia Bulldogs have no tailbacks left, so how, pray tell, could the running back situation get better? Well, I would think bringing back the greatest player ever to play the position at the collegiate level would be a start, wouldn’t you? Incidentally, Coach Richt recently mentioned Herschel. Why do you suppose Walker was on his mind?

Now, I don’t want to start talking crazy or anything, but, when you look at it, it’s painfully obvious that this confluence of circumstances can be explained only one way. After last year’s major hose job on A.J. Green, the NCAA knew they had to make it up to us, and we said, "Fine. Do three things for us, and we’ll call it even." Here is what we requested:

1. Fine the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets $100,000, put them on probation for four years, and take away their ACC championship, and explain that you’re doing it because they’re a bunch of obnoxious jerks. (Done!)
2. Leave the Auburn Tigers twisting in the wind for a while, then hammer the Plainsmen like they stole your wife and kicked your dog. (Getting done!)
3. Let Herschel Walker come back for the senior season he never utilized.

There you have it, folks; it couldn’t be more clear what’s happening here. Isaiah Crowell will start on September 3, but he will be spelled by the Goal Line Stalker later in the game. Say . . . does anybody remember how it worked out for us the last time we brought in Herschel Walker as a substitute in the first game of a season following a year in which the Red and Black finished with six wins?

Go ‘Dawgs!