The Inaugural Georgia Bulldogs Hate Index (Final Round)

… because I hate Florida.

That is all.

I mean i did before, but its starting to reach vineyarddawg levels.

Florida is second with offseason arrests third.

I’m going to have to take some time with this one.

It’s not even close for me. And how is Tech getting more votes than Auburn?? I feel sorry for them more than anything.

You know, seeing something so fundamental go so wrong really grinds my gears.

Just kidding, I cast my deliriously hate-filled vote for Auburn.

So hard to choose!

I had to create a spreadsheet of pros and cons for each program (pros being what lessens hate, cons being what embiggens hate), which of course included personal experiences. For instance, Georgia Tech got a pro for us whipping them like a government mule all the time; the con was if they win, they will brag about that win for FIVE YEARS no matter how many more times we beat them (see generally the AJC blogs).

Florida had to deal with pros such as my grandmother went there (yes, really) and a couple of my best friends from law school were Gators. What finally set them over the other two was that my 1L year in law school, I roomed with a Gator (seriously, there were like six or seven Gators in my 1L class and me as the only Dawg). He dicked me over when he transferred schools at the last minute and sent me scrambling to find a new roommate; to top it off, he didn’t even have the decency to tell me first.

That said, I voted for Florida. However, let it be known that if I could have voted for the Three Rivals as one force, I would have. It’s quite hard splitting hairs between them.

While I was no fan of UT prior to the hiring of Lane Kiffin, I respected their tradition and style of play and enjoyed the rivalry with their regularly entertaining cast of characters. Phillip Fulmer embodies (in addition to a truckload of donuts – I tried to resist writing that – failed) so much of the quintessential SEC villian: tough physical teams, strong defenses, coached his alma mater, could easily have played one of the Governor Menelaus “Pass the Biscuits Pappy” O’Daniel’s handlers. While you hate a Fulmer coached Tennessee team, you don’t really hate it. Hating teams like that is a huge part of what I love about Georgia football.

Kiffin was another matter all together. While I can’t recite General Neyland’s maxims, nor do I care to learn them, the UT coach certainly should. Kiffin removed them from the Tennessee pre-game routine. Kiffin showed highlights of Southern California plays in the Tennessee locker room. He brought in bastardized versions of SC’s ethos and tried to transplant them into a culture where they did not and do not belong. At the risk of overstating this, Kiffin desecrated a temple and UT invited him in to do it. UT knew who, or should have known who Kiffin is; and they brought him in anyway.

And for this, UT is most hated. I don’t give a damn for their particular traditions, and I don’t expect them to care for ours. But we all must care for our own. Failing that, we might as well be the PAC 10.

And that whole putting the off duty cop in a coma thing….. that was messed up.

There’s a joke about Auburn and money changers here, I just haven’t found it yet.

And I voted for Florida. I will vote for Florida every time I have the chance to cast a similar ballot for the rest of my life. As Kyle has astutely noted in the past, the team for whom you hold the most contempt is largely a product of your geography and the “formative” time period of your fanhood. As a south Georgian who received his college degree in 2000, so that his formative fanhood period was roughly 1990-2000, it’s Florida, and it ain’t even close.

I dont like Auburn or Florida much at all, ok, I hate them too,but clock management is something we can control. 3 timeouts in just a few minutes? That really happened? You can hate of UF all you want, but we can’t expect to win with the horrible play calling, game management, tackling and blocking we had last year.

I’m not being purposefully contrary, but when all was said and done, I had to vote for Auburn. Yes, it came down to Tech and Auburn, and no other choice came close. Not even Florida.

My grandfathers are two of the best men I’ve ever known. One was a Tech alumnus and both were Tech fans. Auburn is the only school my parents forbade us from attending. And, as I’ve mentioned before (and likely will again, because I enjoy mentioning it in this context), at least Tech is a good school.

And if we beat them 10 years in a row, I will still vote for Florida.

10+% does not a plurality make.