Once again it's Friday and there's not a speck of live action college football to be found. That's not my problem, it's not your problem, it's Mike Slive's problem. And Mike Slive will solve the whole lack of football problem by cobbling together an incredibly detailed plan that allows you to play all the college football you want, so long as you do it on Tuesdays while wearing garden clogs and listening to a medley of Hall and Oates' greatest hits.
But since Houston Nutt and Derek Dooley wouldn't go for that (no can do) you'll have to be content with Free Form Friday, 20 pounds of college football potatos stuffed into a 10 pound sack, all of which you may feel free to discuss or simply stare at as you see fit. It's the turducken of open comment threads.
Last week we briefly considered Mike Slive's promise to Seth Emerson of the Macon Telegraph that the agenda at the upcoming SEC meetings in Destin would include a proposal to deal with "roster management issues"* in SEC country. Admittedly I was a little cynical about Slive's angle. Afterwards I even thought that perhaps I'd been a bit too hard on the guy. And then I read about precisely what was in the proposal and it settled all doubts in my mind.
This proposal is dead on arrival and Mike Slive knows it. I'm actually a little impressed that he can contend otherwise with a straight face. Marc Wieszer had the initial news and Year2 over at Team Speed Kills did a great analysis of it. The ideas may have come from University presidents rather than the Commish himself, but the point is that Slive is putting forward a proposal that outlaws practices that every school in the league save perhaps Vanderbilt have engaged in within the past 5 years. Is it an attempt to avoid appearing to single out a given school? Possibly. I mean, Alabama's ridiculous number of medical hardships dwarfs the tallies at every other school, so if the proposal were simply to require the SEC office to sign off on those it would look a whole lot like the other member institutions were ganging up on little Nickie. And literally anything short of allowing coaches to sign anyone they want to whenever they want to would put a crimp in Houston Nutt's signature style.
But at some point if Mike Slive wants to take the moral high ground on these issues he's going to actually have to walk to the top of the hill and look down on someone. That's the nature of jeremiads. You can't proclaim them if you're worried about offending people. To review, MaconDawg's current official position on Mike Slive's "roster management" ideas? It's the sound of one hand clapping in a room full of guys dueling with weedwhackers. Maybe Slive truly is a Machiavellian genius, and the inevitable "no" vote is a way of forcing the oversigners, grayshirters and whatever Houston Nutt is (roster rogue? hardship haggler? cheato bandito?) to bring even more scrutiny upon themselves. If so, I take it all back, Der Kommissar.
I don't know about you folks but I've been working like a dog over the past couple of weeks and am really looking forward to a long weekend. If you've got big plans for Memorial Day weekend, we'd love to hear about them in the comments. Personally I'll probably be barbecuing and waiting for my chance to go see The Hangover 2 because, as has been covered in great detail on these pages, my taste in movies is generally awful, and I am just a little bit proud of that. I'm also pretty excited that this holiday weekend one of my current favorite bands (and a former Free Form Friday musical selection) Grace Potter and the Nocturnals will be playing the Capital Theater in Macon on Monday night. It's the kind of show that even wild horses couldn't drag me away from:
Everybody have fun and stay safe. Until later . . .
*Am I the only one who things that "roster management" sounds like something "The Bobs" from the movie Office Space would have engaged in? Do they call it that because "crushing the dreams of 19 year old kids who've given their blood, sweat and tears to play football for your school" wouldn't fit on a business card?