What with rising junior offensive lineman A.J. Harmon leaving the team for
not passing enough classes and stuff "personal reasons" the number of 2010 Georgia Bulldogs who will not be 2011 Georgia Bulldogs is mounting. As a public service to Bulldog Nation I thought it might be good to put together a little scorecard showing who's out and why. Thus I present . . .
Your 2011 No Longer Georgia Bulldogs!!!
- Washaun Ealey: terminal case of Imapremierbackkindofguyitis.
- Marcus Dowtin: Opening chowder shack on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.
- Nick Williams: switched back and forth between safety and linebacker so much that he got lost in transit and ended up in Budapest. Now directing XXX 3: Samuel L. Jackson Screams At Some Dudes Then Blows Stuff Up.
- Zander Ogletree: Playing the part of Xander Cage in Nick Williams' masterpiece about an unlikely American spy trying to thwart anarchists bent on overthrowing the BCS. Or playing Nick Cage in Zander Williams' masterpiece about a quirky actor with generally poor script selection skills who compensates by making 52 movies per year and hoping for the best. I'm not sure which, and I'm too lazy to do the research required to figure it out.
- Tanner Strickland: Graduated, gave up football, and opening for Colt Ford this summer along with Jim Donnan and His Incredible Washboard Band.
- Aaron Murray: As first reported in the Red & Black, lost his foot and an eye in a knife fight during an underground, after hours poker match. Some guy said White Tiger Gourmet is better than Butt Hutt and had to be "corrected." Don't ask how the other guy made out. Let's just say that you didn't see nothing and don't know nothing, and Aaron's gonna be laying low for a while.
- Mike Bobo: Mysteriously bludgeoned overnight with a green spiralbound notebook in his office. When reached for comment University Police Chief Jimmy Williamson said only "You ever seen that movie The Orient Express? Yeah, me neither, but some sports blogger told me the investigation's gonna be kind of like that."
- Isaiah Crowell: No big plans, just chillin'. Check back with him later.
- Israel Troupe: Zombie invasion.
- Artie Lynch: Trainhopping across America with his trusty pet Phillipine flying lemur, Snickers.
- Ben Jones: Herbicide poisoning.
- Jakar Hamilton: Botulism.
- Chase Vasser: Cronyism.
- Aron White: Monasticism.
- Brandon Harton: Accidentally sat upon by Kwame Geathers.
- Kwame Geathers: Facing negligent homicide charges in the killing of Brandon Harton.
- T.J. Stripling: Crippling dendrophobia.
- Logan Gray: Kidnapped by the IRA, being held for ransom in the basement of a pub in Belfast.
- Derrick Lott: Kidnapped by German nihilists.
- Richard Samuel: Partially torn uvula.
- Kenarious Gates: Unfortunate smelting accident.
- Blair Walsh: Recently appointed Interim Chairman of the International Monetary Fund.
- Wes Van Dyk: Opening a California Pizza Kitchen in Gdansk.
- Reuben Faloughi: Opening a deli in Chicago that specializes in reuben sandwiches served with extra Faloughi.
While these personnel losses will certainly leave us a bit shorthanded, I hope that like me you're still optimistic about the outlook for the 2011 season! I mean, every hole punched in our depth chart, no matter how macabre or mundane, is really just a chance for somebody to step up. Right? Right?
I'll be back with an abbreviated Free Form Friday tomorrow. Until then . . .