Menace To Society Mark Richt Wantonly Commits Violations Of NCAA Bylaws, Common Decency, And Supermarket Etiquette.

As you probably heard today, the University of Georgia recently self-reported a series of secondary violations, involving Mark Richt the most eye-catching of which involved him going around Damon Evans to pay football employees denied raises extra cash out of his own pocket. That brazen, cheating S.O.B. How dare he use his own money to compensate employees rather than using taxpayer money or Athletic Association dollars?

But that's not all. While the gumshoes at the AJC were kicking over that particular rock, we here at Dawg Sports were digging further. Below the fold is the list of other violations reported by the University and involving Mark Richt, but for which the NCAA is still considering punishment. Brace yourself. It's pretty rough stuff.

1) Coach Richt saw Inception, but didn't really enjoy it.

2) He did however enjoy the ever-loving hell out of A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas.

3) He then actually told Todd Grantham he "enjoyed the ever-loving hell out of A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas." In front of Mrs. Riggle's 3rd grade class.

4) When listening to Folsom Prison Blues Mark Richt sometimes doesn't feel sorry for the man Johnny Cash shot in Reno just to watch him die.

5) Mark Richt used to pray for Bobby Petrino. Finally he's just given up and decided the guy's a total dickhead. This lack of patience is detestable.

6) He once went through the express lane at Publix with 16 items. You know, assuming each of the bottles in his 6-pack of Gatorade count as discrete items.

7) Oh, and he bought Gatorade rather than going unhydrated when the local Publix ran out of Powerade.

8) Sure he and his wife Katharyn adopted orphans from eastern Europe. But do they take the dependent tax credit on those kids every year? You bet your ass.

9) Once while he was an undergraduate at Miami he waited 14 minutes, rather than the mandated 15 minutes, before leaving class when the professor didn't appear.

10) When Mark Bradley wrote a fawning article about him in the AJC this afternoon hailing Richt as the "World's Greatest Boss" he left the office before penning a proper thank you note. Sure, he'll get around to it tomorrow morning, but such sloth has got to be some sort of violation.

11) After beating Paul Johnson's Georgia Tech team once again last month, he turned around and sent Johnson an invitation to the Richt family post-Thanksgiving fish fry. But he forgot to add a witty personalized note.

12) Mark Richt read the reports of his "under the table" payments and remarked to no one in particular "those bastards in Indianapolis can kiss my ass on this one." Actually he's too good a guy to do that. But I really wish he had.

Until later . . .

Go 'Dawgs!!!

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