One of the biggest nonstories of the week was the assertion by pundits, Aggie fans, and other busy-bodies well-informed people in an excellent position to make valid educated guesses that Mark Richt was going to be the Aggies' new head coach. Most of us Dawgs felt this to be a ridiculous idea that would never come to pass, but a few Aggie fans came over here and gave us some grief about it (and were poor hosts over at their own blog. I don't like it when people mess with my guys from here).

For the well-adjusted, nice Aggies who have been as respectful as a fellow conference fan base can be, good luck with your new coach, merry Christmas, and happy holidays. To the rest of you...well, sorry, folks; Mark Richt's already taken, and here's a hyperbolic totally true account of how this all went down. With apologies to the Charlie Daniels Band:

The Devil Went Down To Georgia (karaoke) (via wizzymonster)

Karaoke version.

The Charlie Daniels Band- The Devil Went Down To Georgia (via 727JeffN)

The full musical version.

The Aggies went down to Georgia; they were lookin' for a coach to steal.

They all co-conspired ‘cause their old coach was fired and they were willin' to make a deal.

Well, they came across this bulldog lyin' on an ice bag ‘cause the weather was hot.

And the Aggies-laughing at the bulldog's tail stump-said, "Dawg, lemme tell you what:

"We know you won't believe us, but we are gonna tell you true;

we swear as fans, as the Twelfth Man, that this is what we'll do:

now you play pretty good football, Dawg, but give us Aggies our due.

We bet we're gonna approach and steal your coach ‘cause we feel we're better than you."

The Dawg said: "My name's Hairy and of us Dawgs, beware.

But I'll wish you luck and admire your pluck, ‘cause our head coach ain't goin' nowhere."

Hairy, rise up off your bag and keep a wary eye;

those Aggies loose in Georgia, they are sneaky, they are sly.

Since our coach wins, those Aggies, they do threaten and approach;

you cannot let those Aggies get your coach.

The Aggies tried to make their case by talkin' ‘bout their town,

about their fans and facilities and elusive conference crowns.

And they claimed the College Station job was no head coach's last-ditch;

that band of Aggies chimed in on their hopeful head-coachin' pitch.

When the Aggies finished, Hairy said, "Well, your pitch was mighty nice,

but our head coach's chair right there is not hot but chill as ice.

Fired from A&M, that's no fun.

The Aggies raid the Dawgs but don't get no one.

Chickens love their head coach; Bulldogs do, too.

‘Grantham, do your Dawgs bite?'

‘We'll show you.'"

The Aggies bowed their heads because they knew that they'd been beat.

They pulled a Brave Sir Robin and beat a very brave retreat.

Hairy said: "Aggies, just come on back if you ever wanna try again.

I got cancer whipped and now he's my gun*; beating you's an easy win."

And he woofed, "Fired from A&M, that's no fun.

The Aggies raid the Dawgs but don't get no one.

Chickens love their head coach; Bulldogs do, too.

‘Grantham, do your Dawgs bite?'

‘We'll show you.'"

*This is a family-friendly blog, so I used the euphemism the Charlie Daniels Band used in their radio-friendly version. Feel free to substitute the original word, though; what deserves such an appellation more than cancer?