There's so much to do to get ready for this weekend's Georgia/Auburn 3:30 kickoff in Athens. Plan a tailgate menu. Find a ticket for my Auburn grad cousin (I'm more than willing to help by the way. I mean he not only empties the trashcan but brings it back to the house before jumping back on the truck. I appreciate that.) Figure out how to cover the shallow crossing route that Florida and New Mexico State both blistered us with to varying degrees. Order a personalized Kyle Karempelis jersey. Seriously, I'm busier than that dog from the best Lewis Grizzard joke ever. I also need to:
1) Alert the United Nations genocide prevention authorities of the tenuous plight of Alabama special teams tribespeople. After watching two Tide kickers miss four field goals I believe Crimson Tide kickers and Special Teams Coordinator Bobby Williams may be in danger of retribution from enraged 'Bama fans. And believe you me, nobody does irrational anger like the lunatic fringe that comprises approximately 2% of the Alabama fanbase. Nevermind the fact that the four misses were from 44, 50, 49, and 52 yards. I imagine that a fanbase accustomed to having the absolute best talent at every position will now go into meltdown mode and ask why they don't also have a placekicker who can hit from 50 yards with impunity. The answer of course is that college football usually has 1-2 of those guys at any given time and they're usually former walkons and bored soccer players. Nick Saban will now be annexing the Crimson Tide soccer team, by the way.
2) Find a theme song for this weekend's game. Just kidding. I've had this one checked off for months:
Payback time, money grabbers.
3) Make large cash donation to church pastored by the father of a talented quarterback prospect. Wait. This one goes on Trooper Taylor's To Do List. Hang on a sec . . .
4) Hail the dawning of the Rhett McGowan era. The redshirt freshman from Calhoun joined Michael Bennett and Christian Conley on the list of freshman wide receivers making an impact for the 'Dawgs in 2011. Sure, it was mop up duty, and it was New Mexico State. But McGowan now has more receptions and yards this season than Rantavious Wooten and Israel Troupe combined. I did not see that coming. In the long run, Bennett and Conley's emergence has taken some of the urgency out of this staff's recruiting trail push for wide receiver talent. Be that as it may, I'm also planning to . . .
5) Get excited about incoming recruit Blake Tibbs. Tibbs has quietly come into his own during his senior season, most recently going nuts against Stephenson High School for 6 touchdowns on Friday night. Stephenson by the way has two players committed to the Florida Gators. I hope this is only the first of many times they're watching helplessly as Tibbs streaks to the endzone. Tibbs is an excellent route runner who has great vision in the open field, returns kicks well, and is a classic example of why running out of scholarships a year before signing day is a bad way to recruit. When he committed to Georgia in late September the 3 star prospect's other major offers were from Kentucky and NC State. He won't be a 3 star prospect on any major recruiting site come February 1st. And the 6'1, 175 pounder will only get better as he continues to develop physically.
6) Empathize with Aron White. Hey, I drove my Hot Wheels tricycle into a privet hedge as a child. These things can scar a man. You see things you cannot unsee. Bugs. Leaves. Rotting gym socks which probably belonged to Troy Sadowski. We know your trauma, Aron. It's okay to be scared.
7) Laugh heartily at the Laggards and Lummoxes. I think those are the two divisions of the Big 10. After Nebraska lost at home to Northwestern and Michigan managed to lose to
the Houston Nutt of the Big Ten Kirk Ferentz's Iowa Hawkeyes, it looks like the best team in the conference is either Michigan State, Wisconsin, or Who Gives a Crap. Who Gives a Crap is the conference school most likely to get a BCS birth. I know, I know. Let me fill in the blank for you: "But if this were the SEC you'd be blathering about 'parity'". True. But Northwestern, Indiana and Minnesota just took what passes for the upper crust of the B1G to the limit, and none of those schools is Auburn, South Carolina or Mississippi State.
8) Be glad I'm not a Penn State fan. By now you've all heard about the awful scandal swirling around Penn State football. There's nothing funny about it, but I have to wonder if this ends up being the end of the JoePa era. Paterno seems to have reported the allegations to his superiors, who then are alleged to have done all the wrong things with the info. But it will be interesting to see how this all develops. No matter what, it ends badly.
I'll be back later. Until then remember, every time Auburn cheats
an angel gets its wings a puppy gets run over nothing special happens, because Auburn's always cheating.