The big news this week (besides helping Florida go 0-for-October, of course) was our lack of running backs going into this weekend's game. Given how many song poems I did last week (and early this week), I figured I'd do something a little different this week because I like variety (well, except when it comes to winning, in which case I do not believe in balance for balance's sake). I doubt this is what Sojourner Truth had in mind when she challenged the powers that be at a women's convention in Ohio in 1851, so I offer the following with my apologies:
Well, Bulldogs, where there is so much racket, there must be something out of kilter. I hear that ‘twixt the hedges of Sanford this coming Saturday, the Red and Black are going to be in a backless fix. But what's all this here talking about?
Those Dawgs over there condescendingly say that walk-ons deserve to be given carries, to be recipients of passes, and to be granted positions on special teams. But nobody gives me carries, passes, or positions, ‘cause I earn them. And ain't I a walk-on? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have carried and caught, and run between the tackles, and no man could stop me. And ain't I a walk-on? I could work as hard and play as hard as a starter-when given the opportunity-and take a tackle as well. And ain't I a walk-on? I have borne numerous work-outs, and left most as exhausted as any starter, and when I groaned from great exhaustion and soreness, not even Coach T heard me. And ain't I a walk-on?
Then they talk about this thing about stars; what's this they call it? [member of audience yells out, "recruiting"]. That's it, Dawg. What's that got to do with playing time? If I can run up the middle on third and long for minimal gain and a starter can run up the middle on third and long for minimal gain, then wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half-yard pile jump?
Then that little man in black and white there, he says walk-ons can't have as many good calls as starters ‘cause there's no money in it. Where did your money come from? Where did your money come from? From the SEC and Auburn! The Dawgs had nothing to do with it.
If the starters Coach named were weak enough to turn our backfield upside down all alone, we walk-ons together ought to be able to run it back and get it right side up again! And now we are asking to do it, and the coaches are going to let us.
Obliged to y'all for hearing me, and now old Harton ain't got nothing more to say.