I know this week's poetry presentation is shorter than usual, but Larry Munson died and I've been under the influence of Benadryl and it's Thanksgiving and...you get the idea. As you might have guessed from the title, this week's poetry is one of the most famous excerpts from one of the most famous works written by one of the most famous authors of all time. Trying to rework Shakespeare made me feel inadequate and ill-equipped for the task at hand--rather like I would imagine the bees usually feel after the Bulldogs ride victoriously away from yet another victory achieved at Historic Mark Richt Field. Hopefully we will emerge victorious once again, and if we win ugly, just remember that a win by any other name...well, you'll see. With many apologies to William Shakespeare:
But soft, what title shines at season's end?
It is the East, which the Bulldogs have won.
Arise, fair Dawgs, and kill the envious Nerds,
who are deluded still offensively.
Be not afraid, since they are envious;
their vile livery is but gold and white,
and none but Nerds do don it; ne'er it wear.
They art my Bulldogs, O, they art my team!
Valiant champions, they art!
Refs speak, but for us call nothing; what's up with that?
Their eyes despise us; Grantham yells at them.
He is too bold, some say, but not to me.
He, being fairest star in all our defense--
giving O's the business-- doth entreat our guys
to tackle, leaving smears upon the turf.
Quarterbacks' eyes do roll back in their heads.
The toughness of our D loaded with stars
which doth offenses cramp; they pick off passes
thrown through the air that go back the other way.
See how they bat balls down with their gloves.
O that I were a tight Pro Combat glove
that I might intercept.
‘Tis but a win that is my objective;
a higher score earned than the other team.
What's victory? It is nor style nor time,
nor yards per run, nor any other stat
besides the lit scoreboard. All I need is a win!
What's in a win? That which we call a win
by any other word would taste as sweet;
so victory would, were it not victory call'd,
retain that dear distinction of W
and win the title. Bulldogs, keep winning,
and in victory, score more points than Tigers
and take the SEC.