As it turned out, Vegas was correct. What was the line prior to kickoff, anyway? I think it was something like 12.5 points over the Auburn Tigers, and that turned out to be just a little bit of an underestimation. Every time I see the Vegas line come out, I wonder to myself, "Just who is this oddsmaker?" Well, I made a few calls and called in a few poker chips to exact a favor and I'd like to introduce you to the single most influential soothsayer in all of Clark County, Nevada: The one, the only...Nostradamus.
Nostradamus. He sees things.
Here's the excerpt from my exclusive interview with the man himself.
DavetheDawg (DtD): First of all, uh, Nostradamus, I want to thank you for taking part in this interview. I know it was short notice.
Nostradamus: The bathroom is down the hall, first door on the left...oh, and thank you.
DtD: Uh, how did you know I had to go to the bath...ohhh, right. You're Nostradamus. You're good, you are.
Nostradamus: Thanks. I hear you're a weatherman. How come none of you guys never actually call me? My rates are the best in town.
DtD: I dunno, man. Pride, I guess. With computer models and everything these days we really think we have a grasp on all things meteorological.
Nostradamus: Well, you don't. Man, I love the weather. Except for Jim Cantore. Dude makes me nervous. Saw him on while on vacation in Panama City once. Ruined the whole damn weekend.
DtD: I wish I had known you were available. Man, I've got to follow you on twitter. All this time I thought you only did sports...
Nostradamus: Oh, heck no. I'm calling the 2012 Presidential Election right now. Jesse Ventura. Book it.
DtD: God help America. I guess the Republicans aren't going to have a viable candidate after all?
Nostradamus: What's really worrisome is that Jesse Palmer is going to win in '16.
DtD: I feel nauseous. Back on point, I've gotta ask you...did you set the line on the Auburn-Georgia game?
Nostradamus: Why, yes. Yes I did. And I know that it seemed to Bulldog Nation a bit over-the-top, but if you could see what I obviously saw.
DtD: Well, what did you see? I know we've made improvements but this series is historically tough for the home-team.
Nostradamus: It usually comes to me in a dream. And what I've been seeing in my mind's eye is a burly man standing on the Georgia sideline. You call him "Grantham." I call him "Money." Anyway, he's got an aura that is larger than most. His energy is extreme. His will is divine. This guy is rare: He's kinda' like a larger and less-green Yoda.
DtD: This is very cool.
Nostradamus: You need a break? You've really got to pee...
DtD: No, dude...that can wait.
Nostradamus: To continue, this "Grantham" not only has the ability to adjust at the half, he can make adjustments after a series. You know what we call people who can do this?
Nostradamus: No, dummy. We call them underpaid.
Nostradamus: I picked a rather large points spread because I knew this "Grantham" had the power. It's a force. The spread would've been more like 28, but I've got to try and keep it a little bit real around here or they'll make me go back to that damn Keno.
DtD: Good point. And great job. Okay, now I've got to ask. We've got a pretty bad Kentucky team coming to town on Saturday but so much is on the line. Have you "rolled the bones?" What are you feeling?
Nostradamus: This game has weird energy. I'm seeing...I'm seeing...cupcakes. No, wait. I'm seeing an early start...
DtD: Dude, c'mon. Everyone knows that game is destined for a
Jefferson-Pilot ESPN SEC Network 12:30 kickoff...
Nostradamus: You're not hearing me...I'm seeing an early start for Kentucky...
DtD: What! They're gonna get a lead...?!?
Nostradamus: Yes. Georgia is going to come out a little bit flat early. They might even fumble a punt or kickoff or something and Kentucky jumps ahead.
DtD: Man, you're making me nervous...
Nostradamus: Relax, Dave. It'll only awaken the Graken.
DtD: Hey. That's my meme.
Nostradamus: It's cool, but your photoshopping skills need work.
DtD: What can I say. Dawgsports hasn't given me a graphics budget.
Nostradamus: I hate the man!
DtD: Please homie. You're killing me! We're going to win, right?
Nostradamus: Relax, Dave. It'll be ugly for about 3 or 4 series. But this bunch of young Dawgs have talent.
DtD: Good to hear.
Nostradamus: I'm seeing big things down the road, too. Really, really big things.
DtD: Do tell, Do tell!
Nostradamus: Sorry, man. You'll have to wait. Info like this is worth some serious moolah. Anyway, Dawgs win 38-10.
DtD: About what I expected...
Nostradamus: No need to risk injury. You'll get to play the bench. Gotta focus on Tech soon.
DtD: Thanks, pal. Can I check back again?
Nostradamus: Anytime. By the way...I'm seeing a plague* headed towards The Loveliest Village.
Nostradamus: No. Lawyers. They're coming from...wait...wait...it's a bit fuzzy...Indianapolis?
DtD: But they were cleared...
Nostradamus: Trust me. I'm Nostradamus! By the way...3-12-13-24-45 Powerball 9
*in no way was Nostradamus inferring that lawyers are a plague. We seriously love us some lawyers 'round here.