For those of us who choose to imbibe, spirits can be a great companion for celebrating a victory and a helpful tool for surviving a loss. As I do every week, I present you with an option for each as the Georgia Bulldogs prepare to take on the Auburn Tigers.
When Georgia Wins:
I'm not gonna lie, a victory this weekend would be huge. If you've watched Kentucky play this year, you know that a win against Auburn would essentially clinch the SEC East. Given all that happened last year, I suggest you celebrate beating the crap out of the Tigers with a little...
CAMMY CAM JUICE!
Except... not really. Since Captain Moneyhatz is gone and (as long as we stay away from NFL broadcasts) we won't have to hear about him this year, we'll leave what's left of the Cammy Cam Juice for Tracy. Instead I suggest you hunker down with something you like... whichever drink is your favorite. Beating Auburn should be like hanging with an old friend you get to see every November. Except when he didn't bother to show up last year.
I'm just gonna come out and say it: stop waffling around waiting for me to tell you what to drink and act like a man! Set an example for Bobo by putting your foot on the gas and never ever taking it off.... but with booze... wait... I mean that metaphorically of course... unfortunate metaphor... nothing to see here folks.
I'll probably be going with a Maker's Mark IV hidden under my shirt, because I'm about to throw up just thinking about this game. Can't wait to see everyone's old standby in the comments.
Where You Can Get Your Hands On It: Hopefully your very own fridge and/or liquor cabinet. If not, give me a call and I'll see if I can't have something airdropped in for you.
When Georgia Loses:
When Georgia loses to Auburn, there is nothing any of us can do except sit back and acknowledge that Auburn University is simply better than us in every way. Academically, athletically, financially, sexually... A loss to the Tiglesmen gives us no alternative. Except for one...
And if you wanna chase it with some of this, that could work too.
A couple of things you need to know about Haterade. First off, we don't drink Gatorade... ever. Powerade only. And don't you dare buy that orange or blue crap. Only Red Powerade will do. You can mix in whatever clear liquor you'd like. I find vodka works best... although, depending on how epic the beatdown, you may choose to go with Everclear or Golden Grain in its place.
Where To Get Your Hands On It: Your local supermarket/liquor store... or maybe in CTG's office after the game. You can probably sneak in and grab a glass while he's out murdering Mike Bobo.
As always, I look forward to your booze plans for this weekend's game whether Georgia goes "all in" or gives us an excuse to get our hate on. Until then...