Last week, Kyle posted a respectable 3-2 record in his SEC predictions, bringing his mark for the fall to 46-12. (If you don't think that 3-2 is respectable for last week, bear in mind that his two errors were in games that resulted in tears for some and whole-sale regime change for others.)
Fortunately for the Bulldog Nation, Kyle is hating Auburn full-time this week. Unfortunately for fans of accurate prognostication, that leaves you with me as the resident Dawg Sports football fortune teller. Full Disclosure: I have literally never posted an accurate sports prediction on these internets. To make matters worse, I'm going to up the difficulty by picking these games against the spread. Under the circumstances, Kyle's customary disclaimer should probably go without saying, but I'll repeat it to avoid any doubts: Don't Bet On it!
Florida Gators at South Carolina Gamecocks (-4.5): Since losing starting QB Stephen Garcia, the Gamecocks have managed only 14 points against a young Volunteer squad and 28 points against a Razorback team that currently ranks 8th in the SEC in scoring defense. Now they've also lost backup QB Connor Shaw for at least a game, and all-everything RB Marcus Lattimore is out for the season. On the other side of the ball, South Carolina has given up 86 total points to the two functional pro-style attacks they have faced this season (Georgia and Arkansas). As for the Gators, their defense is giving up fewer than 20 points per game, and their pro-style offense would look better if it hadn't faced the three best defenses in the SEC in Alabama, LSU, and Georgia. I'm not sure they win outright, but I like Florida to cover in a low-scoring affair.
Kentucky Wildcats at Vanderbilt Commodores (-12.5): Don't be fooled by Kentucky's domination of Ole Miss last week. The Rebels are so bad they fired their coach and athletic director. Similarly, don't be fooled by Vanderbilt's losing record. James Franklin is a [redacted], but he has his team playing some pretty good football. The Commodores should cruise to an easy victory.
Tennessee Volunteers at Arkansas Razorbacks (-14): Arkansas boasts the best offense in the conference. Tennessee's defense is decidedly average for an SEC squad. Arkansas theoretically has a shot at claiming the Western Division crown via three-way tie breaker if they win out. Tennessee fans are already looking ahead to basketball season. Arkansas is playing at home. Tennessee hasn't won an SEC road game under Derek Dooley. Arkansas wins by at least a couple of TDs at home.
Western Kentucky Hilltopers at LSU Tigers (-41.5): LSU is 9-0 against the spread this year. They've also scored at least 40 points five times. Western Kentucky barely managed 3 points against Kentucky. Oh, and it's a night game at Tiger Stadium. I'm sticking with the hot hat and taking LSU.
Louisiana Tech Bulldogs at Ole Miss Rebels (-1*): GIGGITY! BOTARKUS! No rational analysis will help you with this game. In fact, most sports books dropped this line entirely after Rev. Dale and his AD got their pink slips. Since 1 point is essentially a coin flip, you should probably just flip a coin if you must pick this game. Against my better judgment, though, I'll take the Bulldogs since they beat a common opponent (Fresno State) more convincingly.
Alabama Crimson Tide (-17) at Mississippi State Bulldogs: Nick Saban's squad lost 3 games last year. In the games following those losses, Alabama beat Ole Miss by 13, Michigan State by 42(!), and... Mississippi State by 20. The Tide are better this year, the Bizzarro Bulldogs are worse, and Nick Saban is an angry, little man. I'm taking Bama and the points.
Please don't hold the nonsense above against Kyle, and really, seriously, whatever you do: Don't Bet On it!