Don't Bet On It!: College Football Predictions Around the SEC

Due to my middling 3-3 record in last week’s SEC predictions, my league ledger for the entire autumn dropped to 31-9, which ought to give you pause if you are considering lending credence to any of my prognostications. The point may be stated with concision thusly: Don’t Bet On It!

Each of this week’s SEC outings will be played on Saturday, October 8, because, what, do we look like the WAC? Here is the weekend’s slate:

Mississippi St. Bulldogs at UAB Blazers: Recently, the question has been asked, "What’s ailing Mississippi State?" Well, for one thing, the Western Division Bulldogs keep playing road games against Conference USA teams. What’s up with that? The Bulldogs will win, but they still should be embarrassed just by being there.

Vanderbilt Commodores at Alabama Crimson Tide: The Commies are improved, are 3-1, and are coming off of an open date. Whatever; they’re still going to get killed. The Tide will win in a walk.

Kentucky Wildcats at South Carolina Gamecocks: There are lots of reasons for picking the Garnet and Black in this one. The Gamecocks will have the benefit of home field advantage, and South Carolina will be looking to bounce back from last Saturday’s setback and to exact revenge for last year’s loss. Mostly, though, Kentucky is just a really bad football team, so I’m predicting the ’Cocks will win.

Auburn Tigers at Arkansas Razorbacks: This is the toughest matchup to call, because I have no idea what to make of these two teams after the last couple or three weekends. There’s no doubt that the Arkansas team that came back on Texas A&M would beat the Auburn team that lost to Clemson, nor is there any doubt that the Hogs who lost to Alabama would be beaten by the Plainsmen who defeated South Carolina, but it’s a mystery which of those teams will be in Fayetteville Little Rock Evening Shade wherever this game is being played this weekend. The eenie-meenie-minie-moe method says the Tigers will catch the Razorbacks by their toes hooves.

Florida Gators at LSU Tigers: On paper, this is the marquee game of the weekend, but, in Baton Rouge, it’s going to be a butt-whipping. The Bayou Bengals will roll over (or is that "roulez eauxver"?) the Swamp Lizards.

Yes, I know those summaries were uncommonly concise, but I’m trying not to tick off any more leaders legends losers, and, besides, it doesn’t take long to be wrong, does it? Well, O.K., then! Enjoy your weekend, and remember: Don’t Bet On It!

Go ‘Dawgs!

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