Don't Bet On It!: College Football Predictions Around the SEC

Although I went 5-0 in last week’s SEC predictions to improve to 40-10 for the season, it’s pretty clear that last Saturday’s Southeastern Conference slate was fairly weak, so you should resist the temptation to place any faith whatsoever in my skills as a prognosticator. Let me spell it out for you in no uncertain terms: Whatever you do, . . . Don’t Bet On It!

All of this week’s SEC games will be played on Saturday, October 29, because we’re not the Sun Belt Big East:

Mississippi St. Bulldogs at Kentucky Wildcats: I know I’ve been giving these two teams a hard time for their weak scheduling practices, but this is getting ridiculous. Mississippi State keeps arranging these pitiful road games against basketball schools---at Memphis; at UAB; now this nonsense---and Kentucky keeps bringing patsy after patsy into Lexington---first Central Michigan; then Jacksonville State; now this also-ran---while fans are stuck watching a tussle between a pair of 3-4 teams who are winless in their respective leagues. Wait, what? Oh, this is a conference game? My bad. Yeah, I’m going with the Bulldogs.

Arkansas Razorbacks at Vanderbilt Commodores: James Franklin and Bobby Petrino lock horns with one another on the same weekend the Red and Black cross paths with Will Muschamp, which causes me to wonder when, precisely, Steve Spurrier slipped out of the top half of the league in the obnoxious coach rankings. Ordinarily, I don’t give 13/16ths of a darn about any team overseen by Coach Petrino, but, in this case, I’ll be glad when the Hogs win, because Vanderbilt hates America. (In our defense, we told you so. Bunch of danged Commies. . . .)

Mississippi Rebels at Auburn Tigers: There’s only so long a Houston Nutt-coached team can go without winning a game it shouldn’t, and there’s only so far a Gene Chizik-coached team can go without the best quarterback money can buy. That’s right, I’m pulling the trigger on the upset: Ole Miss will sneak by the Plainsmen in the so-called Loveliest Village.

South Carolina Gamecocks at Tennessee Volunteers: Historically, the Gamecocks have struggled against the Volunteers in Neyland Stadium. There is a strong correlation between this fact and the reality that, historically, Tennessee has boasted a much better football team than South Carolina. This ain’t historically, though; this is now, and, right now, the Gamecocks are going to beat the Big Orange in Knoxville.

Those are my forecasts for the weekend, but, as always, they are to be taken with a grain of salt the size of Stone Mountain, as I am really bad at predicting the outcomes of football games. Consequently, I must remind you of my weekly disclaimer for your own good. Trust me: Don’t Bet On It!

Coming Soon: National games of interest.

Go ‘Dawgs!

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