FanPost

Oh! Your Record Will Grow! A Seussical Tribute to Mark Richt's 100th Bulldog Win


Before Saturday, I was mentally working on a snarky poem entitled "Green Notebooks and Spam." It had such inspiring lines as, "Would you, could you, from the three? Could you, would you, just for me?" and "I do not like touchdowns, Coach Richt; I do not like them, not a bit." But then we actually won the game, and I found myself in the position to write about something that only happens once. Let's face it: Bobo's play-calling will probably will probably still be lousy this time next week, but you only get to celebrate a coach's 100th Bulldog victory once.

At times, I borrowed lines almost directly from the work, but only because Dr. Seuss seemed to know a lot about Bulldog football already. I will, of course, post a link to the original in the first line of my poem so you can read the similarities and changes for yourself. With apologies to Dr. Seuss:

Congratulations!

Tonight is your night!

You've carded your hundredth

from Rocky Top's height!

 

‘Twas a Dooley who hired you,

a Dooley you subdued,

and a Dooley who talked on the radio, too.

E'en with the help of the foul-calling crew,

there was only so much that a Dooley could do.

 

So you reached triple digits

as the coach of the Dawgs-

96 more in Georgia

than the coach of the Hogs.

 

Oh!

Your record will grow!

 

You'll keep winning ballgames!

You'll continue your ascent!

You'll join the great coaches

with great winning percents!

 

You won't lag behind ‘cause you'll have SEC speed.

You'll pass and you'll run and you'll maintain the lead.

On the sideline as coach, you'll be best of the best.

Wherever you play, you will top all the rest.

 

Except when you don't.

Because, sometimes, you won't.

 

I'm a Negative Nellie;

I'm sorry, it's true.

Bad play calls

and nay-calls

will happen to you.

 

You'll plummet from champ

to chump with a bump.

You'll win less and less

in a bonafide slump.

 

Unslumping a slump

is not easily done.

Doing what's needed

is often unfun.

 

You will come to a place where you'll have to decide

the best way your offense to lead and to guide.

A place that could cost you much more than you'd fancy.

Do you want to play safe? Do you want to play chancy?

How well can you play against more than a pansy?

 

And if you should choose to call all your own plays,

how would yours differ from the man's you'd replace?

Would you take a big lead or shut down in the third?

As play-caller-chooser, would you strive or conserve?

Would you go for the kill or merely observe?

 

If you cannot decide,

the next place you'll face

is that much dreaded space

called the Waiting Place...

For people just waiting.

 

Waiting for more than three points or so,

waiting for the offense to go.

Or the calls to make sense, or the points to show

or the backs to block, or QB to throw

more than bombs on drive's first go.

 

No!

That's not for you.

 

Oh, your record will grow! You'll undo the harm done.

There are points you will score. There are games you'll have won.

The things that your players will do with the ball

will make you the winningest head coach of all.

Fame! They'll honor the ground on which you trod

by naming something after you besides Bobby Dodd.

 

Except when they don't.

Because sometimes, they won't.

 

I'm afraid that some fans

will resent when you lose

games you should win-

but you sabotage you.

 

All alone!

With you the buck stops.

Alone is a constant

when you're up at the top.

 

But on you will go

though the zebras be foul.

On you will go

though your rivals do prowl.

On you will go

though the haterz wave towels.

Onward to many

a hostile arena,

where enemies scorn you

and howl like hyenas.

 

And will you succeed?

Yes! You will indeed!

(Even when 56 yards you will need!)

 

Coach, you'll keep winning!

 

So...

Be you playing the Hat or the Visor, take care.

Beware of Corch Boom and the Armani Bear.

A hundred is great,

but more you can do.

May you win twice that

before you are through.

>1982966_medium

via media.tripod.lycos.com

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Dawg Sports

You must be a member of Dawg Sports to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Dawg Sports. You should read them.

Join Dawg Sports

You must be a member of Dawg Sports to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Dawg Sports. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker