Are You Ready for Some Football?

Was the best decision I ever made. Black carpet going in this winter. Though my memorabilia is limited, I like to make my own UGA themed art (usually picture day collages – although last summer I made a red and black end table out of bottle caps I’d been collecting since college). I like to think of it as a shrine in which I can let the Georgia goodness wash over me. Hi, I’m RedCrake and I’m a Georgia addict.

Thomas is seven (he just started second grade) and Elizabeth is two.

I regret that I, too, know who Justin Bieber is. I’m also familiar with Big Time Rush (they’re the Monkees of 2010), and I can distinguish Miranda Cosgrove’s “Kissin U” from Jennette McCurdy’s “Not That Far Away.”

The “SportsNight” complete series box set is to the left of the “West Wing” box sets, and is concealed by the wooden edge of the door with the knob on it. (Directly above the “West Wing” box sets are the box sets for seasons two and three of the original series “Star Trek”; season one is concealed on the left, as well.)

For the record, to the right of the “West Wing” box sets are the complete series box set of “Studio 60” and seasons one through three of “30 Rock.” I’m rather proud of my thematic organization.

The is one and only one appropriate approach: Bribery.

I’ve found that pricey kitchen appliances work best. Stainless steel GE Profile’s are the best thing that ever happened to me.

. . . although, frankly, shooting anti-Vietnam protesters seems unsportsmanlike to me now that the Baby Boomer ex-hippies are reaching retirement age.

Or a cricket bat.

You should schedule some kind of recommitment ceremony during June/July 2012. When they start complaining, just remind them that England always chokes in the European Championships and probably won’t even qualify — again!!!

Crazy Europeans…. I love your football… at least have a modicum of respect for mine and schedule your weddings during Dave’s non-butter-eating season.

Unfortunately, the New England states forced Jefferson to remove the lines about no weddings during football season from his list of grievances in the first draft of the Declaration, but the Congressional debates over the Bill of Rights make it quite clear that the right to skip marriage ceremonies that interfere with football games was one of the powers reserved by the Tenth Amendment.

I was a “Hill Street Blues” fan, which led me to become a “Twin Peaks” fan (by way of Mark Frost), which led me to become a David Lynch fan generally, which led me to become a Frank Herbert fan (through the film version of “Dune”).

During football season, I recite the Bene Gesserit litany against hope.

I should have moved the Southern literature-laden bookshelves downstairs to make myself look better.

Yes, I own Football for Dummies, which is overly rudimentary, but which occasionally proves useful, what with X’s and O’s being the weakest part of my game, blogging-wise. (Hangs head in abject shame.)